It takes more than a status update to meet the love of your life.
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel — "Dr. Koppel, you found your Mr. Right online, as you had mentioned."
"You say in your book, 'My list proved to be a work in progress. The more men I met, the more deal-breakers I added to it. Still, in the end, I realized that my list had functioned only as a framework, a crutch that I could and did rely on all along the way. Ultimately, the list proved to be meaningless. When I met my Mr. Right, deal-breakers that I had sworn by for three years flew out the proverbial window.' Tell us about that."
Dr. Dale Koppel
Perfect Partner Has Same Values, Not Politics
In my case, I'd been pretty direct. I wanted to meet somebody who had the same political point of view. I didn’t want to meet a man who had a kid who sometimes, or always, lived at home. I think these beliefs are important to have. As I said in my book, it gives you a framework. Otherwise, you’d be all over the place.
Perfect Partner Has Same Values: Framework
I think that we actually think in those terms. We think we want to meet people who are very much like we are. After a while, I found that, even if I went out with a man who didn’t necessarily have the same political beliefs that I had, as long as he wasn’t trying to change me and I wasn’t trying to change him, we got along really well. I think it’s a matter of doing it enough times. You start understanding the dynamics a little better. Before I started dating again, I had been married for almost 25 years. I was totally out of the system. It was a whole new process, not only because online dating was around and hadn’t been before, but I had to rediscover myself and understand myself better. I think that’s where the deal-breakers came in. There were some that I would never change my mind about.
Ultimately, what I wanted was a man who had the same value system that I had. I realized that it wasn’t so much about politics or whether or not there was a kid who lived at home, some of the time or all of the time. We had the same values. We had the chemistry, which is also something that you can’t describe in a profile. The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel. The entire interview transcript is at: Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show, Blog Talk Radio: Navigating Online Dating: Discussion with Dr. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira and on iTunes.
Jasbina Ahluwalia adds a unique contribution to the Matchmaking industry. She has pioneered an approach to matchmaking, which blends the best of The East and West. She is an Indian American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host & Matchmaker/Dating Coach. She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only Premier Matchmaking, Dating / Relationship Coaching & Online Dating Support Firm – For Indian Singles. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show – conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. She has received worldwide press (Oprah, Chicago Tribune, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine) including TV and Video & Radio.
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This article was originally published at http://intersectionsmatch.com/perfect-partner-has-same-values/. Reprinted with permission from the author.