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Online Dating Profile: Describe Yourself

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Here are some helpful dos and don'ts for writing a successful online dating profile.

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel: Dr. Koppel, in terms of writing an online profile, you say, “Don’t say it when you can show it.” Can you give us some examples?

Dr. Dale Koppel

Online Dating Profile: Use Humor

Yes, I can. I like to use the example where everyone says they have a sense of humor.

I remember all of the times I went out with a man who said he had a sense of humor. Of course, I said that I had a sense of humor. Then, I would say something funny, and he wouldn’t laugh.

I thought to myself, “Everybody has a sense of humor. Everybody is going to say it in their profile. Not everybody has the same sense of humor.”

If you can say something that you think is funny in your profile rather than saying, “I have a sense of humor,” and the other person gets it, then you know that at least in terms of sense of humor that the two of you are compatible.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

Dale, you also recommended that in your online profile you describe what you’re looking for in a partner and in your life as opposed to describing who you think you are. Can you tell us about that?

Dr. Dale Koppel

I didn’t realize that it was the case and that, in fact, I was doing that.

I didn’t realize how important it was until Peter, my Mr. Right, pointed that out to me.

Online Dating Profile: Encourage Conversation

When he read my profile, in his first email, he said that it was one of the best profiles he’d read. It was because I said who I was looking for in a man. He said, “I think you’re looking for me.”

He said that when somebody writes about who they are, he found that this was something that the other person will decide when they meet you.
I thought about it afterwards. I am a writer. I think it’s more engaging to the reader to read about themselves.

Obviously, if you say, “I’m looking for a man who likes to ski,” the assumption is that you like to ski. It’s a much more engaging way of approaching a profile by talking about the other person.

Julie Spira

Online Dating Profile: Don’t Exaggerate

You’d be surprised how many women will say that they like to golf when they really don’t golf at all. They’re just hoping to get a country club guy.

Dr. Dale Koppel

Right, or the men who say they do yoga. Then you say, “Oh, you do yoga?” They say, “Yes, I tried it once in college.” That’s true.

I think the basis of this is that you want to be honest when you talk about the man you’re looking for.

You might want to say, “I’m looking for a man who belongs to a country club.”

Julie Spira

Online Dating Profile: Speed Bumps

You can’t quite say that on a profile. Then, the men start screaming, “She’s a gold digger. She said she wants a country club man.”

Dr. Dale Koppel

Online Dating Profile: Be Upfront

Sooner or later, they will realize you’re a gold digger. I say to put it on the table early.

The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel. The entire interview transcript is at: Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating.

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show.

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Navigating Online Dating: Discussion with Dr. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira.

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes.

Jasbina Ahluwalia adds a unique contribution to the matchmaking industry. She has pioneered an approach to matchmaking, which blends the best of the East and West.

She is an Indian American attorney-turned-entrepreneur, relationship expert, radio show host & matchmaker/dating coach.

She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only premier matchmaking, dating/relationship coaching & online dating support firm – for Indian singles.

Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show -- conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness.

She has received worldwide press (Oprah, Chicago Tribune, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine) including TV and video & radio

For more information, please visit Feel free to submit a question to be considered for this column to Jasbina directly at info @

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This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.


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