The dating trenches can be tough and full of frustration, but Sanjit Singh has some advice.
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Sanjit Singh, author of Are You Indian? A Humorous Guide to Growing up Indian in America: "Given your experiences, what guidance would you give to Indian women in the dating trenches? If a platonic friend asked you, “Do you have any advice for me?” what might it be?"
It’s hard for me. I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while. I didn’t face the same issues that I think women face.
Indian Community Dating Advice: Commitment
From what I hear, women in general are always trying to figure out in their head, “How serious is this guy? What is his level of commitment? Is this going anywhere?”
Over time, at the appropriate time, you get to know a guy’s family and friends. You try to get a sense of his expectations.
Keep the relationship moving at a pace that makes sense. If it’s not moving at a pace that makes sense, I think you’re better off to leave rather than to try and play the guessing game.
Indian Community Dating Advice: Guessing Game?
I see a lot of people playing the guessing game.
If you move on and the guy doesn’t make a big deal about it then you just move on.
I see this with guys, too, when they try to make it into something that it’s not. They keep waiting for something to happen or for the relationship to advance.
I see a lot of people playing that waiting game.
Jasbina Ahluwalia: "What about Indian guys in the dating trenches? Do you have any thoughts or advice for a hypothetical little brother who might be dating? What would you tell him?"
Indian Community Dating Advice for the Men
This dovetails on what I said earlier for advice for women. I think guys should be more upfront about their timeline and intentions.
When you finally start to get serious, look for someone who is your best friend. Get to know their family and friends.
Make sure that you’re in a pool of people that you’re compatible with.
In Indian culture more than anything, you are really marrying the whole family. As long as you have good compatibility and similar values, that makes a world of difference.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Sanjit Singh.
The entire interview transcript is at: Sanjit Singh Interview – Are You Indian?
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Conversation with Author, Sanjit Singh
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes
Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Indian American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach. She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina , the only Premier Full-Service Selective Search , Dating / Relationship Coaching & Online Dating Support Firm – For Indian Singles. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show – conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness.
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This article was originally published at http://intersectionsmatch.com/indian-community-dating-advice/. Reprinted with permission from the author.