Dating is no easy feat. We all have a tree in our backyard that we have stopped to admire, and then proceed to bang our head on after a bad date. I realize it can be very frustrating for you gals to decipher what we guys are saying during the dating process.
What does it all mean? What is the true status of your relationship? Never fear, your Bad Swami is here to help you decode these mysterious phrases, and offer up relationship guidance. Let a man’s man, a stallion among stallions, a male specimen with truckloads of je ne sais quoi (among those possessing only handfuls of je ne sais quoi) walk you through these phrases in detail, and give you the unvarnished truth about what they are likely to mean, and what you should do next to save your sanity.
“I Am Not Looking To Get Married Right Now.”
What it means: This line is pretty straightforward…don’t try to polish this turd into something that it’s not. If your clock is ticking (or your parents and aunties are all breathing down your neck about your heretofore nonexistent shaadi), shift your focus to someone else and don’t waste your time with this guy. His comment could mean that he is a terrified little boy, pooping himself with commitment issues, or he could just mean that he wants to take it ‘waaary, waaary’ slow. Either way, the big mistake is to think that he’ll be so overwhelmed by your awesomeness that he’ll change his stripes, and move into marriage mode within a few dates. This makes me think of that great song by Madeline Peyroux, “Don’t Wait Too Long.”
What to do: Be candid about your intentions. If you want to get married relatively soon and you are not up for a 10-year, “make-up-your-freakin’-mind” boyfriend, tell him. If this scares him, good. Enjoy watching him go from brown to white while asking the waiter for the check. Better to find out now than later.
Article Contributor: Sanjit Singh is an entrepreneur, speaker and author. He is the author of ‘Are You Indian – A Humorous Guide To Growing Up Indian In America. He is a contributor to the humor blog, Bad Swami. He holds an MBA from UCLA Anderson School of Management.