YourTango Experts provide advice on finding space in your schedule to find Mr. Right.
The key to improving one's social love life, whether dating or in a relationship, is to treat it like any other important project. Determine your long-term social/dating/relationship goals. Break each goal down into specific, measurable, attainable, relevant objectives. Select activities that can accomplish your objectives. Take family time, work schedule, errands, time for relaxation, and wellness care into consideration when deciding how much time you can devote to your objectives. Use a calendar to schedule these activities. Is Your Social Life Hurting Your Love Life?
At the end of each week, determine whether you have enjoyed the activities you planned and whether they have helped you accomplish your objectives. Should you adjust the number of activities for the next week or did the number and type of scheduled activities work well toward enhancing your dating/social life? Are you experiencing increased stress or fatigue? If so, maybe you scheduled too much and you should reduce the number of activities for next week.
Another important benefit from a fulfilling social life is that "...an active social life appears to delay memory loss as we age, a new study shows," from the Harvard School of Public Health, using data gathered from 1998 to 2004. The results showed that individuals in their 50s and 60s who engaged in a lot of social activity also had the slowest rate of memory decline.
—Lori Edelson, Counselor/Therapist
How To Know Which Activities Will Work Best For You
Creating a dating life that works for your lifestyle is meaningful and fulfilling as it involves living an authentic life aligned with your goals and priorities.
Ask yourself the following two questions to let your priorities and goals connect you to the best ways to search for Mr. Right:
1) What are my goals and priorities at this time of my life?
Write them down. A research study from Dominican University of California has shown that those who actually write their goals down on paper are significantly more likely to achieve them than are those who merely mentally note their goals. 9 Steps To Setting And Reaching Relationship Goals
Make sure your goals and priorities guide your decision-making as to how to allocate your finite resources (time, energy, and money). If finding a relationship is near the top of your list, then likewise make sure both your calendar and budget reflect that goal and priority.
2) Besides finding or maintaining a relationship, what else is at the top of the list?
Combine as many of your other top life goals and priorities as possible with your search for Mr. Right:
a) Is another top priority spending time with your girlfriends? When you and your single girlfriends are deciding what to do together, choose planning a private singles party where each guest will bring a member of the opposite sex as opposed to planning a movie night at home with the girls.
b) If fitness is near the top of your list, choose a coed team sport or spend time in your gym's weight room over doing a Pilates DVD at home.
c) If giving back is near the top of your list, spend time in-person with a coed volunteer group, as opposed to exclusively writing a check. New Trends: Newlyweds Put The Volunteer In Honeymoon
—Jasbina Ahluwalia, Dating Coach
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