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Wait until later dates to broach this topic.
By Jarone Ashkenazi
Last updated on Dec 14, 2023
First dates are usually a bit awkward. The get-to-know-you Q&A can be filled with nervous laughter and shyness or even awkward lulls in conversation, but that is normal. But first dates are extremely important as they serve as the foundation of your potential fairy tale of a relationship.
People envision themselves meeting someone for coffee, drinks, or dinner, being immediately taken by their dater’s beauty, having fun, engaging in conversation, and then riding off into the sunset together.
This vision is ideal, but many still ask inappropriate first-date-approved questions.
There are some topics — bringing up your ex, your flaws, religion, politics — that are taboo and should be avoided.
You should put your best foot forward and not bring up these controversial topics as you would like to give off the best impression possible. Although politics is VERY common in the news, you should be wary about speaking about politics on a first date.
You probably have strong opinions one way or the other and your date may as well.
It is pretty simple, on a first date you are not going to convince someone to switch their belief system.
Everyone has their own values, morals, and belief system and that should not be challenged on a first date. Opposites attract, but if you’re on a first date and political differences come up, “instead of converting your partner, consider listening and learning,” says relationship expert April Masini.
Also, bringing up politics usually fuels confrontational conversations instead of engaging and fun ones. The point of a first date is to get to know the person on a grand level and figure out if there is enough chemistry to have a second date. It’s about having fun and keeping conversations light, but if you’re “grandstanding on politics, you’re not listening or learning,” says Masini.
It is okay to speak about current events or other news, but do it respectfully.
You can speak to current events and politics as it is a great way to learn about people, but be careful as people usually get defensive when speaking about politics.
And Lori Salkin, matchmaker and dating coach at Saw You At Sinai shared a story of an interesting first date where politics became involved. She set up a first date where a very liberal guy went out with a very conservative girl (they were both in the same Medical school).
Although they both knew they didn't share each other's political leanings, she advised they wait until a subsequent date to bring their views up. Well, within minutes the boy decided he was not interested in the girl for other reasons and then decided it would be funny to discuss Obamacare the whole time to annoy her … the date ended within the hour. Suffice it to say, she was not a happy camper.
Not too long after this failed Obama Care date, he became very interested in a girl who was in the same social circles as the first dater. Then something funny happened: "Apparently the first girl told everyone what a jerk move it was and he was and he became the "Obamacare lover,” says Salkin.
So don’t be like this failed dater and get a bad rep for trying to make a joke out of politics on the first date. Instead, get past a few dates before debating a serious topic like politics. “Keep the first few dates fun and engaging by getting to know the character and personality of your date," because those things can outweigh political views, concludes Amanda Rose, CEO of Dating Boutique Inc.
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Jarone Ashkenazi is a freelance writer and blogger whose work has been featured in Fast Company, Just Luxe, Elite Daily, CBS LA, and Ask Men.