What Messages Are You Sending?

By

What Messages Are You Sending?
The quality of your love life is directly tied to the messages you send

The quality of your love life is directly tied to the messages you send. These messages stem from your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions. If your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions are not congruent, you’ll send mixed messages.

Sending mixed instead of clear messages guarantees a love relationship that is not sustainable — one fraught with frustration, disappointment and a superficial connection.

A mixed message can look like this:

  • I really want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. (Thoughts)
  • Men don’t respond well to heart-to-heart talks. (Belief)
  • I’m afraid if I express myself fully, he’ll become upset and I’ll get hurt. (Feelings)
  • He asks, “Is everything okay?” You say “Yes”, yet snap at him later while he’s watching TV. (Action)

Sending mixed messages continually will eventually wear you down, your partner and the relationship.

Here’s what a clear message looks like:

  • I really want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. (Thoughts)
  • He loves me, cares for my well-being and will be open to what I have to share. (Belief)
  • We’ll feel more connected after I express myself fully and show my vulnerability. (Feelings)
  • When he asks, “Is everything okay?” You say “There’s something that’s important for me to share with you.” Then you start sharing openly and without blame. (Action)

Sending clear messages takes more of a conscious effort and yields better results. In order to send a clear message, set the intention for something good to come from your interaction. Communicate from your heart in a loving and authentic manner. Don’t try to control the outcome — be detached and let the results happen like they’re supposed to.

The more you practice sending clear messages, the easier it becomes. Try this as an experiment for the next seven days and see what happens. I’d love to hear how this goes for you.

P.S. If you're frustrated and tired about not being successful in love, get your free Monthly Guide to Love. You'll receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

Why You Should Work With A Dating Coach

By

If you're a woman who is successful in virtually all areas of life, you may think you should be able to find the same kind of success in love on your own. If you've been blaming or judging yourself for not having found love or thinking you should have known better, it’s not your fault. You were not educated and taught from an early age how to love ... Read more

How To Ease Through The Difficulties of Love

By

Ups and downs in love are a common occurrence, whether you're single, dating, divorced, in a good relationship, in a complicated relationship or married. When love is going well, you're in sync with "what is," life is more effortless and you have a sense of well being. What happens when love becomes difficult? The Problem: Our ... Read more

Lost Intimacy? 11 Steps For Getting It Back

By

In a society where short attention spans and instant gratification are the norm, people want and expect intimacy to happen quickly. This results in: Having sex early on and being disappointed when things don't turn into a relationship.  Texting each other instead of having conversations in person or on the phone. Sharing too much ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular