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Practice Makes Better in Love

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Practice Makes Better in Love
Ditch practice makes perfect. Instead, watch your love life improve with practice makes better.

When we take the 1550s English Proverb “practice makes perfect” to heart, we put unnecessary pressure and unrealistic expectations on ourselves. It can also keep us locked into our comfort zones and afraid of trying something different for fear of failing. Love relationships give us vast opportunities to practice communicating openly, expressing ourselves, allowing our partner to be and do what’s best for them, being open to how our relationship unfolds, etc.

"Practice makes perfect" has a heavy energy to it and doesn’t inspire me to try new things or new ways of being. It makes me feel pressured to do things perfectly. When I’ve taken the approach of "practice makes better", it takes the pressure off and opens up a space inside of me to experiment without feeling like I’ve got to do things right.

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Like most men, my fiancé likes to give me advice. In the past, I would become upset sometimes when he "told me what to do". I took it as, "He doesn’t think I’m competent and he’s trying to control me." I wasn’t able to hear the good intentions behind his words. After several incidences, he pointed out that I couldn’t hear what he was saying because I was projecting my past experiences from my dad and a former boss onto him.

After reflecting on this, I saw grains of truth in what he said. I started to notice what triggered this reaction inside of me by practicing being present. Because I didn’t put the pressure on myself with "practice makes perfect", it became more like an experiment. I was able to stay open, curious and non-judgmental about the situation, him and me. This eventually led me to understand his good intentions and be more open to his advice. Things have greatly improved in this area of my life because I’m striving for better, not perfect.

More from YourTango: Open Your Heart to Gratitude

What is one unproductive love situation that keeps coming up for you? One that you can consistently apply the “practice makes better” principle? Taking an experimental approach to improving your love life is guaranteed to move you closer to your ideal relationship.

P.S. If you're frustrated and tired about not being successful in love, get your free Monthly Guide to Love. You'll receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

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