Vulnerability is Essential to Love

By

Vulnerability is Essential to Love
True Vulnerability Depends on Knowing Your Worth.

Why is self worth necessary in order to be vulnerable?

When we seek validation from others, we give away our power by letting them define our worth. If your worth depends on your partner’s validation, you won’t say what’s really on your mind and how you feel. You’ll censor your words and emotions in order to get your partner’s love, approval and acceptance.

 

The less validation you seek from others, the more you can define and know your own worth based on “I am enough”. We tend to base our worth just on the good parts of us. But, knowing your true worth takes courage because it requires examining, confronting and embracing your dark side (e.g. self-perceived bad aspects about yourself, limiting thoughts and beliefs, irrational fears, shame, perfection, things you try to hide from others, etc.).

When you don’t accept and love all of who you are – the good and self perceived bad – you’ll feel disconnected to your partner. What’s happening is that you’re actually projecting the separation you feel with yourself onto your partner. This keeps you from a deep, meaningful connection.

When you accept and love yourself, you’ll express yourself freely without fear of what your partner thinks of you. You’ll be able to be vulnerable by letting your guard down and being open to what is and what might happen.

Why is vulnerability essential to love?

Vulnerability is essential to love because the more you can let someone in, the more they can get to know the real you. When you’re both relating and connecting based on who you both are, there are two of you in the relationship, communicating cleanly, feeling heard and understanding each other.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at Love For Successful Women. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Dating and Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

Why Loving A Man Unconditionally Makes You Downright MISERABLE

By

Giving unconditional love in your life means loving without conditions, boundaries—loving someone as they are. This kind of love seems ideal, but in reality ... dating and relationships are actually full of conditions.  These conditions manifest around us every day: If I do this, then he will like me more. I'll wait for him to call me first. ... Read more

Why You Should Never Settle For Less Than You Deserve

By

For some reason, people usually think that the older they get, the less chances there are for them to find their love. We're here to tell you that this couldn't be further from the truth! It doesn't matter if you've hit the 30, 40, or 50 benchmark; when it really comes down to it, rushing into dating someone just for the sake of having boyfriend ... Read more

Is Your 'Independent Woman' Attitude Holding You Back From Love?

By

While we perceive strong, independent and ambitious women as not needing a man, many women like this DO find love and get married. When Amal Alamuddin—a powerful, strong and internationally recognized woman—married George Clooney, you might have thought she just got lucky ... or were you wondering, "Will I find true love"? If ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular