'Tis better to have loved and lost ...
Love can be excruciatingly painful when someone you love dearly is no longer in your life. Continuing to idealize and romanticize "the one" keeps you living in the past, making it extremely difficult to move forward. If you're asking, "Why didn't my relationship work out with him?" the simple yet hard-to-understand answer is that every person comes into your love life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When he is no longer in your life, even if you still love him, his reason and time with you has been fulfilled. There is someone else coming into your life who is better suited for you based on where you are now, what you need to learn and how you need to grow. While this may be difficult to accept, it will make sense in hindsight. Overcome the nostalgia of lost love by focusing on yourself.
Here are nine ways to focus on yourself:
1. Take time for self-reflection. Ponder what you're doing well with in love, what you can improve upon and the notable experiences that are scripting your love story. This process brings conscious awareness of where you've been, where you are and where you want to go.
2. Question your negative thoughts. Negative thoughts tend to run on autopilot and, if left unquestioned, you can easily believe things that aren't true. Question these predominant thoughts and determine positive thoughts that are as true or truer than your original thoughts.
3. Make conscious choices. When you think about him and want to contact him, make the choice to not do it. Don't make it tempting or easy to have him in your awareness. For instance, delete his phone number, don't text him or respond to his texts.
4. Live in the present. Spend as much time as possible in the present moment. If you find yourself thinking about him, you're in the past. Be present because in that moment, life is good. Continue Reading ...
More love advice from YourTango:
- 10 Unmistakable Ways To Know He's Head-Over-Heels For You
- 20 Crazy-Romantic, Creative Ways To Say 'I Love You'
- 5 Ways To STOP Complaining And Appreciate The Life You Have