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How To Overcome The Nostalgia Of Lost Love

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How To Overcome The Nostalgia Of Lost Love [EXPERT]
Are you feeling nostalgic?
'Tis better to have loved and lost ...

Love can be excruciatingly painful when someone you love dearly is no longer in your life. Continuing to idealize and romanticize "the one" keeps you living in the past, making it extremely difficult to move forward. If you're asking, "Why didn't my relationship work out with him?" the simple yet hard-to-understand answer is that every person comes into your love life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When he is no longer in your life, even if you still love him, his reason and time with you has been fulfilled. There is someone else coming into your life who is better suited for you based on where you are now, what you need to learn and how you need to grow. While this may be difficult to accept, it will make sense in hindsight. Overcome the nostalgia of lost love by focusing on yourself.

More from YourTango: Why You Judge Your Partner & How To Stop It

Here are nine ways to focus on yourself:

1. Take time for self-reflection. Ponder what you're doing well with in love, what you can improve upon and the notable experiences that are scripting your love story. This process brings conscious awareness of where you've been, where you are and where you want to go. 

2. Question your negative thoughts. Negative thoughts tend to run on autopilot and, if left unquestioned, you can easily believe things that aren't true. Question these predominant thoughts and determine positive thoughts that are as true or truer than your original thoughts.

3. Make conscious choices. When you think about him and want to contact him, make the choice to not do it. Don't make it tempting or easy to have him in your awareness. For instance, delete his phone number, don't text him or respond to his texts.

4. Live in the present. Spend as much time as possible in the present moment. If you find yourself thinking about him, you're in the past. Be present because in that moment, life is good. Continue Reading ...

More from YourTango: How to Create a Heart-Catching Online Dating Profile

Reboot your love life!

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Author of forthcoming book, "How to Attract a Man Who Completely Loves and Accepts Me: The Empowering Three-Step Approach to Create True & Lasting Love"

Enjoy the Create True Love Blog.  Janet's articles provide a deeper perspective, are thought-provoking and help you see love in a richer light. They're based on her personal experiences, her perspectives, reflections, beliefs and thoughts.

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Get your free Monthly Guide to Love and receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

Why You Judge Your Partner & How To Stop It

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"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." — Mother Teresa "Negative judgments about others are unnecessary. We are all on our own journey and have our own lessons to learn." — Janet Ong Zimmerman In the early stages of a relationship, it's easy to "fall in love" with your partner ... Read more

How to Create a Heart-Catching Online Dating Profile

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10 Tips that Guarantee You'll Stand Out When it comes to online dating, your profile is the initial factor in determining the type and quality of men you'll attract. Spend thoughtful time in developing or updating your profile because what you put out there is what you'll attract. Here are 10 tips for creating a profile that will catch his ... Read more

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