Years of indecision from trying to make the wrong man right for me, knowing what I should do and not doing it and the thought of having to start over, took its toll on me. In hindsight, it wasn't the situation with my ex that caused me great stress. It was my indecisiveness. This difficult love lesson became the impetus for me to become more decisive. It's been a gradual process that has brought inner peace and greater confidence.
If you're wondering whether to continue to date or not date a man, stay or leave a relationship, wait or not wait for a marriage proposal, trust or not trust him, etc., here are four ways to decide with confidence:
1. Get clear on what's most important to you. Define your core values, qualities you must have in your ideal partner, how you want to be treated by your partner, how you want to feel in your relationship, what you want to be doing in your relationship, etc. Use these as guideposts in making decisions. For instance, if commitment is one of your core values and the man you're with says he wants to date other women, decide that he isn't the right man for you and leave him so you have the opportunity to meet a man who wants a commitment.
2. Be present with what you know and how you feel. When you're having a hard time making a decision, notice that your mind is stressed about something that happened in the past or worried about something that might not happen in the future. Make decisions with more confidence by being in the present moment. Take some deep breaths to get centered and become present. Then notice how you feel and what your body is telling you. Listen to and decide from your intuition.
3. Listen to your intuition. If you tend to second guess yourself, you're caught in the cycle of your thoughts. Listen to and make decisions based on how your body feels. For instance, if you feel expanded and open, decide to move forward. If you feel contracted and shut down, decide to not move forward or to wait for more information. (If you're a visual person, visualize the scenarios you're thinking about and notice how each one makes you feel.)
4. Choose what feels best. If you find yourself having to decide between two choices that seem equally good, ask yourself, "If I could only have "A," but never have "B," how would I feel? Then visualize "A" and notice how you feel. Then visualize and feel, if I could only have "B," but never have "A." Choose the one that feels the best. Making a decision about two bad choices? Consider choosing neither one of them and keeping an open mind for a different option to show up.
You can do it.
Being afraid to make mistakes perpetuates the cycle of indecision. Break the cycle by approaching your decision-making with a practice makes better mentality. The more you practice, the more decisive you'll become and the better your love life will be.
Have the intelligence to recognize when you're distracted by your cycle of habitual thoughts, the wisdom to break free from these thoughts and listen to your intuition, the heart to be open to what is and what will be and knowing that the outcome from your decisions are for your greater good. What will you do to make decisions about your love life with confidence?
If you're getting lackluster results in love, take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report that shows where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.