Hate Making Decisions? 4 Tricks To Try

By

sad black woman
Learn to be as confident in love as you are at work!

Oh, the dilemma of indecision. Many successful career women are confident making decisions at work and indecisive when it comes to making decisions about their love lives.

If you've succeeded in your professional life by making logic-based decisions, it's because you've been educated, trained and understand how to do your job proficiently.  The opposite is true when it comes to love. Instead of a handbook, manual or training program on how to be successful in love, we learn through the School of Hard Knocks. And, if you're like me, you've gotten mixed results through this trial and error method.

For decades, I made logic-based decisions without success in love, which led me to second guess myself. But logic-based decisions make you second guess yourself which makes it difficult to feel confident. The less confident you are, the more you question yourself and the more indecisive you are. 

Indecisiveness in love shows up in any number of ways, including the following: being consumed by unhealthy thoughts and asking your friends and family what you should do; spending too much time with men and in relationships that aren't right for you; feeling dissatisfied and unhappy; being afriad to make a mistake; second-guessing yourself; and questioning whether you'll ever have true love.

During times in my love life, I've experienced all of the above and more. In fact, my story illustrates the potential repercussions of indecision. You see, when I was 30 to 35 years old, indecision kept me in the wrong relationship. Six months after meeting my boyfriend in Kansas, a job promotion led me back to southern California. I didn't know what to do about our relationship so he decided to move with me. I was happy to be back where my family and good friends were.

Things between me and my boyfriend became worse over the next four years; he was so unhappy to be in southern California and I was stressed out about his unhappiness. My indecision started out as, 'Should I go out with my friends or stay home with him?'… and grew to 'I can't decide whether to leave or stay in this relationship. I feel guilty if I break up with him because he moved to be with me.' Finally, after waffling for four long years, I broke things off. Keep reading ...

More love advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

Lost Intimacy? 11 Steps For Getting It Back

By

In a society where short attention spans and instant gratification are the norm, people want and expect intimacy to happen quickly. This results in: Having sex early on and being disappointed when things don't turn into a relationship.  Texting each other instead of having conversations in person or on the phone. Sharing too much ... Read more

Help! My New Boyfriend Is Into Bondage And It Scares Me

By

Since bondage pushes the boundaries of normal sex by experimenting with things considered taboo, it is understandable why you may feel scared. Upon deeper reflection, these fears may be a combination of your perception of bondage, things that happened to you growing up, and your still new relationship with your boyfriend. These fears may show up in these ... Read more

Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy & What You Can Do About It

By

My 30s was the decade of unhealthy relationships. These relationships dimmed my light and made me unconscious to the reality of what love was. While I should have known better, it was still hard for me to walk away. I've seen this time and time again with women who contact me about their relationship dilemmas and with clients I've coached. If it ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.