Every relationship status (e.g. single, in a relationship, separated, engaged, married, divorced) presents opportunities for us to enjoy and embrace. At different times in my life, I wasn’t able to fully enjoy all of my relationship statuses. When I was single, I wanted to be in a relationship. When I was in a not-so-good relationship, I wanted to be single. When I experienced a painful breakup, I wanted to be in a good place as a single person. When we’re not able to enjoy and embrace certain statuses, it’s because we want to be at a different place.
Even though I was happy being single most of the time, my 20-year cycle of being single, dating, in relationships, breaking up, etc. was hard to enjoy and embrace. The reality is I wanted to experience marriage wholeheartedly, and at the same time, I would rather be single than settle for a half-hearted marriage. After two breakups with the man I dearly love, it became even harder to enjoy and embrace this place in my life until I took full responsibility in 2007 for my role in the demise of this and past relationships.
In hindsight, if I were able to accept and embrace what I wished were different, I would have learned the lessons I needed to learn sooner in order to move forward and create the love life I desired. Taking responsibility and doing the inner work to love myself and know my worth, helped me accept and not wish away these parts of my life.
10 Lessons Learned
Here is what I’ve learned that may help you accept, enjoy and even embrace where you’re at in life.