Every relationship status (e.g. single, in a relationship, separated, engaged, married, divorced) presents opportunities for us to enjoy and embrace. At different times in my life, I wasn’t able to fully enjoy all of my relationship statuses. When I was single, I wanted to be in a relationship. When I was in a not-so-good relationship, I wanted to be single. When I experienced a painful breakup, I wanted to be in a good place as a single person. When we’re not able to enjoy and embrace certain statuses, it’s because we want to be at a different place.
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Even though I was happy being single most of the time, my 20-year cycle of being single, dating, in relationships, breaking up, etc. was hard to enjoy and embrace. The reality is I wanted to experience marriage wholeheartedly, and at the same time, I would rather be single than settle for a half-hearted marriage. After two breakups with the man I dearly love, it became even harder to enjoy and embrace this place in my life until I took full responsibility in 2007 for my role in the demise of this and past relationships.
In hindsight, if I were able to accept and embrace what I wished were different, I would have learned the lessons I needed to learn sooner in order to move forward and create the love life I desired. Taking responsibility and doing the inner work to love myself and know my worth, helped me accept and not wish away these parts of my life.
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10 Lessons Learned
Here is what I’ve learned that may help you accept, enjoy and even embrace where you’re at in life.