Wanna Stay Married? Stay Loveable

By Janet Anderson, MA, LPC-Supervisor. Posted on Oct 17th 2012.

Top 10 Tips for keeping your partner in love with you

2. Little things matter. Know your partner and go out of your way to meet their needs, both in the physical and emotional worlds. If he doesn't like to build things, don't bring him power tools and if she doesn't like chocolate, don't buy chocolate. See the world you both live in through the other's eye. Maybe you're a slob. But if your partner isn't -- be respectful. Change

3. Stay attractive (and clean for Pete's sake). We can't help aging, but we can help how we manage our bodies. Remember, there is someone else out there who can catch the eye of your mate. Work to keep his/her eyes on you.

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4. Purposefully think of your partner during the day. Remember when you first met. Remember how you felt about them. Remember times in your life that they made you laugh, or took care of you when you needed them. Stay grateful and show them your gratitude in your language and behavior.

5. DO NOT assume that your partner would never have an affair on you because of religion, honor, vows or anything else. Do not make the mistake of thinking that because you "know" your partner, that they would never have an affair. . Don't be suspicious and paranoid, just keep in mind that most people don't set out to have affairs, but if you don't stay loveable, someone else will, someone who brushes their teeth, laughs at their jokes, is generous and thoughtful, you know the rest --

6. DATEeach other at least once a week and it needs to be a date. Dress up, flirt with each other, touch each other, talk about something interesting. If you can't afford to go out, date at home, but the important part is that it has the flavor of a date. All of your attention goes to your mate for a certain amount of time and you bring your most attractive, loveable self to the date.

7. Balance the amount of give and take. There are times in every relationship when one partner or the other has to give more. That's ok. When it becomes a problem is when there is never reciprocation or when the give and take is not balanced. Make sure you are contributing somehow! Make yourself valuable in the relationship. If you aren't, your partner will begin to build resentments whether they want to or not. No matter how in love we are, if we are exhausted or feel used, love evaporates quickly.

8. Don't think the way to get your partner to love you or change for you is to be angry at them. Yelling does not engender love. Anger does not foster intimacy. You can't brow beat someone into loving you or changing for you. Stay loveable. Ask for your needs to get met. If you've been loveable, they will work to meet them. If they don't. Ditch them. They don't deserve you. THEY failed to be loveable. There is someone else out there who will appreciate your continued effort to be loveable.

9. Continue to grow as an individual, but keep your partner informed and involved in your growth. Likewise, encourage them to grow, and stay informed and involved in their growth. We evolve as individuals if we're healthy. The trick is to evolve individually, but also be sure that we don't evolve too far away from our partner. Stay connected.

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Janet Anderson, MA, LPC-Supervisor

Counselor/Therapist

In compliance with the Health Portability and Accountability Act "HIPAA" (rule 104-91), this message and any attachments are intended only for use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If the reader of this electronic message is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering the message to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system. E-mail transmission cannot be guaranteed to be secure or error-free as information could be intercepted, corrupted, lost, destroyed, arrive late or incomplete, or contain viruses. The sender therefore does not accept liability for any errors or omissions in the contents of this message, which arise as a result of e-mail transmission, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided or omitted. This e-mail message is not intended to replace therapy, and only used for scheduling and administrative purposes. This email is not checked frequently enough to benefit crisis situations. If you are in a crisis, please call the 24/7 Crisis Hot line (512-472-HELP).

Location: Cedar Park, TX

Credentials: LPC, MA, NCC

Specialties: Anger Management, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression

Website: http://www.jancounseling.com

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