Continually having someone pointing out your faults, telling you things that are false about you, and you are jumping through hoop after hoop trying to "fix" yourself to accommodate the relationship is a futile effort. You will never be what he/she wants you to be, even if you do manage to "make things right"—down the road there will be contradictions—and all the things you've "made right" will be wrong.
There are serious emotional issues with your partner that stem so far back into his/her life, and the only way that he/she is able to validate his/her life is through the total control and belittling of his partner. Is this "love"? No. But it certainly presents itself as love initially... until the internal monster emerges. I Dated My Therapist For All The Wrong Reasons
As tough as it may be, if you value you and your own sanity, stop. The only person you can 'fix" in this relationship is you.