When I look at the whole “call / don’t call” debate I went through in my single days with all the guys who were not the ones for me, and when I look at all the mistakes I made with the guy who turned out to be the real thing, I realize it’s true! It doesn’t matter. So save yourself all the agony, all the second guessing, all the frenzied conferences with your girlfriends, your mom, the cashier at the grocery store, your hairdresser, the guy in the apartment down the hall – you get the point. Just stop, relax and breathe. It’s OK.
All those books and advice from friends about the rules and all that stuff, it doesn’t matter. If he’s the right guy and you’re being real, and you call him when you’re thinking about him, it’s ok. And if it’s not ok with him, it’s still ok with you. Because that’s how we find out whether or not this guy is the right guy for us. If we’re ok with something, and he’s not, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us. It just means that we’re not right for each other. So don’t blame yourself. Or your decision to call or wait. And whatever you do, relax.
It’s that simple.
P.S. When you’ve been used to being in relationships with crazy-making guys like the ones we’ve been with, it’s normal to overthink this whole topic. Stuff like this mattered to them because they had lots of their own issues and weren’t ready for a real relationship in the first place. And trying to be in a relationship with that guy will just mean a lot of heartache. With a real guy who wants a relationship with you, it’s easy. And not crazy-making. Just follow your heart and know that whether you end up calling or not, waiting for him to call or not, it’s OK. If it’s the real thing, you’ll know. And if it’s not, you’ll know that soon enough too. And it won’t be because you went with the girlfriends that said to call, or your Mom who said to wait. It’ll be because it really wasn’t the right relationship for you.
To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve".
Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com.