I was telling a friend about my blog recently, and while I was explaining why I’m so passionate about wanting to help women out there to avoid the heartbreak that I experienced during my single days, I had an epiphany. About all that heartbreak. I realized it’s actually a gift.
You heard me right. A gift.
Something to be cherished. Something to be happy about.
Any time we experience a broken heart over someone who didn’t turn out to love us the way we loved them, any time we’re forced to face that tough reality of unrequited love, any time we’re left watching someone walk away from us, realizing we’re on our own again, is truly a gift.
Let me explain.
You see, I know that grateful is usually the very last thing we feel when someone’s just told us we’re not the one for them, and that the relationship is over.
But what if we could choose, instead, to realize that this breakup just saved us from going any further down the wrong path, the path that we had most likely already spent too much time going down already? What if we could thank heaven, or the universe, or fate, or whatever it is we believe in, for not letting us go any further with someone who wasn’t on the same page we are? Someone who wasn’t the right one for us.
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Sure, our dreams about the relationship were beautiful and wonderful dreams, but that’s all they were – dreams. Regardless of how much we wanted them to come true. And I know firsthand just how much we can want them to come true. But the truth is we were having those dreams by ourselves.
If you really look at the relationship, with the filter of your dreams removed, most likely you’ll see that it wasn’t what you really wanted. When you think about the relationship honestly, did it lift you up or break you down? Did you feel good about yourself when you were with him, or did you feel like you were always trying to be what he wanted you to be? And most importantly, could you see yourself living happily ever after the way things really were? My guess is no.
How do I know? Because if it was great for both of you, and he was the right one for you and you were the right one for him, you’d still be in it. Why? Because people don’t end relationships that are right for them.
So what if, instead of looking at the breakup as something that we didn’t want, we could see that it actually saved us from much more heartbreak and much more disappointment that was looming up around the bend. It saved us from continuing on with the false pretense that everything is ok, that this is all we want, all we expect out of a relationship; that this is as good as it gets. It saved us from spending any more time doing whatever we could to turn things around, knowing we were the only ones trying to turn it. Wouldn’t that change everything?