When I first moved down to Southern California from Vancouver, Canada it was because I was desperately in need of a change. I was tired of being single. Almost all my friends were married, and the ones who were single were stuck in the same negative patterns, bringing themselves down and me down with them.
I felt like I had exhausted the supply of any men worth dating out there and I was tired of repeating the same old patterns over and over again with the same kind of princes who always turned out to be frogs. Attracting emotionally unavailable men, however promising and full of potential they seemed, had become my MO and was taking a toll on my self-esteem. I was starting to question whether there really was something wrong with me after all, and was beginning to wonder whether I would ever find someone compatible who would want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him!
California seemed so full of promise; the promise of a new life, of a sort of rebirth, and I felt it calling to me even as I had visited there and found everything falling into place to make the move to this new life. I was sure this was going to be the beginning of my new life.
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What I found, however, was that although everything was new and exciting, I was still attracting a very similar kind of man. One that I soon came to recognize as the same kind I had been attracting back in my old hometown. The realization struck me that even though I had made such a huge change in my move, I was still the same me. I was still the same person with the same subconscious needs that were still attracting the same type of men in this new location, even though everything externally was different.
I suddenly realized that even though I had made such a big external change, and had gotten a whole new look, and a new wardrobe and a new career, I was essentially the same person inside. It was no wonder I was still attracting the same thing; I had changed the exterior things of myself, but I hadn’t gotten to the root of the source. The me deep down inside with all of the baggage I had accumulated over my entire life to that point and time in my life. And no changes to the external were going to bring about the kind of true change I was looking for until I finally figured that out.