There comes a time in everyone's life when something happens that causes you to re-evaluate the path you're on. A crisis of sorts, to set a change in motion to lead you to a different path, to get you to stop and take notice of what is and isn't working.
This turning point will look different for everyone, but the point is to make whatever has happened in your life worth it, worth the pain that you went through. Don't let the experience that brought you here today be wasted. Use it as a springboard for the change that you know you need.
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Make today your turning point.
Instead of looking at what you did wrong, or what you could have, should have done differently; why he left you, or why he isn't ready to commit to you, instead resolve to dig down deep below the surface to the root of your questions. You don't have any control over him and the choices he made or may still be making, but you do have control over your own choices and the decisions you're now making. Instead of looking at why he isn't willing to commit, or why he ended the relationship, or why he hasn't called, or what's going on with him, make this about you.
You're the only one you can change here.
Begin by asking yourself these tough questions: How have I attracted such a guy? What was it about myself that I needed to dig deeper down to figure out why I have needs for guys like this? What am I really looking for and why?
Be patient with yourself if you don't have the answers. Most of us don't at first, and may never have them without the help of a trusted third party or a professional. Figuring out the answers to our deepest questions by being open and honest with ourselves is very necessary, but never easy work. But it's in the digging deeper and looking honestly within ourselves for the answers that we learn who we really are.
It can be a slow journey, the old three steps forward, two steps back, filled with lots of tears, lots of lonely times, and lots of wondering if we'll ever figure this all out. But somewhere in the midst of this type of soul-searching we begin to discover who we really are, not someone that everyone wants us to be, but our true, authentic selves. And in the process, we learn to love ourselves for the first time in our lives. We start accepting ourselves and what is instead of trying to be something other than ourselves and what we think should be.
Even if right now all you feel is pain, despair and loneliness, it's exactly this turning point that starts you on a different path, in a different direction, with the hope of all things new, different, better. They're all just waiting for you, right around the corner.
All you have to do is make that turn.
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Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com
To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"