But old patterns die hard. It’s hard to learn to play a different game when the game we’ve playing is the only one we know. So we don’t. We keep repeating the same patterns, playing the same game over and over again and wondering why we keep finding ourselves back in the same relationship with the same guy, just with a different face and a different name. Because we don’t know how to love ourselves in the way that we need to in order to finally break free of these patterns. Because we don’t have a clue what it really means to live our lives the way they are meant to be lived. Our lives.
Somehow we forget that we’re the ones doing the choosing, the selecting, the deciding, the evaluating. We’re the ones who decide if he’s in or out. He may get to have someone as amazing as we are in his life, not the other way around. We’re the ones who choose to continue only if it’s a relationship that truly honors our light; and we are the ones who have the courage to end it if it’s not, even if that means we find ourselves alone. Again. All over again. Because when we’re in that place of confidence in ourselves, it doesn’t matter. We’re no longer afraid of being alone. In fact, we understand from there that it’s better to be alone. Much better than being alone with someone who really isn’t with us anyway. This year we’re only going to be with him if he's with us. Completely, in the way that we want, and deserve.
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So that’s it, my beautiful friend. That’s the only resolution you need to make this year. Sounds easy, but I know, you’re wondering how. Because like me, back in my single days, after chiming in with my best cheerleader cheers of agreement with all these wonderful truths, the reality set in that I had no idea how to get to that place within myself. Where I truly believed I was worth not settling, or even had the right to think of myself like that. If that’s you, then I know you know exactly what I mean.
It starts with the smallest of steps, with just holding these thoughts in our hearts and minds. That you are beautiful; that you are worthy of, and deserve the kind of love that you want. Sit with those thoughts as you get a glimpse of what I’m talking about; and catch what might be a rare glimpse of yourself; your true self that we don’t see very often and you rarely let others see.
There is so much more to life than this; and this is your year to find that out for yourself!
Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com.
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To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve".