And more importantly, we realized the hard, cold truth of the matter: If either one of them had been interested in either one of us, they could have (and most likely would have) initiated a conversation with us. It wasn't all about us.
The point is, thinking about the past, focusing on what we could have or should have done differently, doesn't get us anywhere. Learning from that past, building on our previous experiences with new knowledge and new levels of comfort does.
Beating ourselves up over things we cannot change about the past, dwelling on what we wish we had done differently doesn't.
So look at the past, and all of those things you might have wanted to do differently, as learning points. If you feel, based on your past experiences, that you need to do something different, then do it. If you're not sure, then listen deeply to your heart and not all the shoulds or other people, and you'll find you have that answer deep down inside.
It's all a journey. We learn. We experience.
We find ourselves in situations where we wish we had done something different. And we learn again. We resolve to do things differently and then we learn the important life lessons that bring us through to the next season of our lives. And we fall back into old patterns from time to time. It's that three steps forward, two steps back type of learning that we find so frustrating, yet is so necessary to finding our way on our own time, at our own pace, at a timing that is unique to us and no one else.
And always allow yourself the gift of a fresh start.
Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com
To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"
This article was originally published at Getting To True Love
. Reprinted with permission from the author.