I remember having many conversations with my girlfriends about what we thought was the statistical likelihood of finding our very own Mr. Right. You see, like many of us, back then I believed there was only one single Mr. Right meant for me; my soul mate; the one. And after looking at our ever growing lists of must haves, and how many men in any given population would meet those criteria, we all came to the conclusion that our odds of meeting him were not greater than about one in ten million.
It was depressing, and rightly so. Because from that viewpoint the chances of each of us meeting our respective Mr. Right and living happily ever after was about as good as winning the lottery. It also helped to explain why we were all feeling so desperate and anxious, feeling like we needed to spend every spare moment out there looking for him.
To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve".
The feeling of scarcity makes us crazy.
Looking back it all made perfect sense. Because if you truly believe there is only one man in ten million who is going to be right for you then of course you will behave in such desperate ways. Those kinds of numbers make your search take on a crazy urgency and create such a feeling of anxiousness in you, making you crazy in the process. And it elicits the type of unhealthy behavior that only ends up hurting you in the end.
But what if you knew that, in reality, the opposite were true? What if it wasn't so much about finding that one in ten million who will be right for us, but instead there were actually many different men who could be right for us?
Mr. Right comes in many different packages.
At various points in time, different men come into our lives and many of them have the potential to be our very own Mr. Right, if we only give them the chance. Often we look right past them because they don't have the outward package we're insisting on, or they have some flaw that we just can't get past, or because they simply aren't the way we pictured our Mr. Right in that wonderful imagination of ours.
All too often we refuse to see them for who they really are and all that they have to offer because we're so hung up on our old belief systems that there is only one single person that is the right one. And how scary is that?!! Talk about pressure; I mean, if you mess up and pick wrong, and then the right Mr. Right comes along what do you do then? The entire concept is just nerve wracking and crazy-making, and that's just what it does – it makes us crazy.
Open your heart.
Well, I have some good news for you: there's more than one single possible Mr. Right for you. There's more than one possible soul mate for your soul. And the even better news is that it's not so much about him, or any particular possible Mr. Right; it's really about you. And your ability to see someone clearly for who they really are and what they have to offer you, and who you really are and what you have to offer them.
And in that moment when you finally realize that there's a place of abundance of love and men here, and not that old familiar place of scarcity and limited resources, you'll discover that love is all around you, and there are so many men out there who might be your Mr. Right, if you're just willing to open your eyes and heart a little further.
Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com. To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve".
This article was originally published at Getting to True Love
. Reprinted with permission from the author.