Do you find yourself turning down invitations to social functions because you don't have a date to bring? Are you the type of woman who needs to know you have a new boyfriend lined up before you will break it off with your current guy? When you find yourself single do you spend all of your time on the hunt for your next boyfriend that will hopefully lift you out of your depressed funk?
Of course most women, including me, are just much happier when in a relationship than when single. I mean, who doesn't want to have someone with whom to watch the sunset, curl up on the couch and watch a movie or share a home cooked meal? That's totally understandable, totally normal and totally human. We're programmed for connection; we're social creatures.
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The problem arises when you find being single so depressing, so lonely, so, well, awful that you fall into the trap of getting into a relationship that's not what you really want just to avoid feeling lonely. The problem with getting in (and worse, staying in) a relationship because you feel that it's better than being alone is that you've just thrown a major roadblock in the way of finding true happiness.
You've basically locked yourself into a less than satisfying situation just to avoid what might, right now, feel like a worse situation. The risk is that you may find that you've locked yourself into this mediocre situation possibly for life. And that's a long time.
So it's time for you to break free of the chains of feeling like you need to be with a guy in order to feel good about yourself. The key is to learn to enjoy these alone times and stop wasting this valuable, precious time that could be well spent in discovering your true self, pursuing your own interests and making new connections. Look at this time that you are unencumbered by a relationship as the gift that it truly is — the gift of time to do everything that you've wanted to do without being tied down by a relationship.
More single advice from YourTango:
- Help! I'm Almost 40 And Still Single
- 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know
- Dating: The One Piece Of Advice All Single Women Need?