I remember being a single girl and receiving an invitation to a wedding, knowing mostly couples would attend. As much as I would look on the positive side and think 'I might meet Mr. Right there' (because that was always in the back of my mind), the reality was that my married friends would all have each other, and I would once again feel like the lonely fifth wheel.
It always seemed to be little old single me amongst all the happy, smiling couples who seemed to have everything I was looking for. No matter how much I tried to feel okay by myself, that deep longing to be part of a couple never went away. Nor did the feeling that there was something wrong with me that made me wonder if I would ever figure out what it was I was supposed to do to be on that other side, the elusive couples side that always seemed to escape me.
No matter how much we may believe that we are living in a different world today, the reality is that it's almost impossible to forget that we are living in a couple's world. From the numerous times you're asked if you're dating anyone or why you're not married yet (or something else along those lines), to the special rates offered to couples everywhere from gyms to resorts to big box stores, the implied message is always the same – if you're not part of a couple, there's something wrong with you!
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At least that was how I always felt. For those of you who are able to ignore those messages and live your single lives to the fullest without feeling that way somewhere deep down inside, I admire you for being able to authentically be in that space amid such external pressure. But for the rest of us, I've got a few things to share with you that I wish I had understood back when I was feeling so discontented being single when everyone else seemed to be with someone.
So what's a single gal to do in this couples world? Plenty!
1. Focus on yourself. That's right — you. That beautiful person who looks back at you when you look in the mirror. Take an inventory of everything you have in your life right now. Look at the things you want to do, the places you want to visit, the experiences you want to have and start making those things happen now. Don't wait to start living until you've found someone to share your life with. Live your life like you've never lived it before.
2. Remember it's only temporary. There are so many seasons in life and this is only one of them. Don't get so caught up in looking forward to the next seasons that you forget to enjoy the season that you're currently living in. There will be positive and negative aspects to each period of your life. Instead of looking at the future as being better than the present, focus on what is great about the here and now.
More dating advice from YourTango Experts:
- 30 Dating Habits You Need To Lose By Age 30 (Part 1)
- Dating 101: How To Know He Wants To Kiss You
- The Secret To Successful Online Dating