Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Ladies, Your Career Is Ruining Your Love Life

career over love
Contributor
Love, Self

Is your career progressing far better than your love life? New research explains why.

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide, "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want ... and Deserve."

3. News flash: men like feminine women. In the early 1990s, Marianne Williamson described an underlying phenomenon that started in the 1960s of women trying to become more masculine. In in her book A Woman's Worth, she noted that the feminine qualities — nurturing, care-taking and loving are no longer being reinforced or positively confirmed by our society and culture that instead consistently honors and rewards the masculine qualities of doing, achieving, competing and acquiring. "We came to see women, usually beginning with Mommy, as weak and ineffective ... the way to succeed, it seemed to us, was to grow up and be just like Daddy." Her words are just as relevant today, and while this shift in culture has certainly resulted in women gaining equality (or more) in the workplace, it has (not surprisingly) come at the price of diminished romance.

4. He wants to leave the office in the office. In her book Have Him at Hello, Rachel Greenwald interviewed 1,000 men and asked them why they weren't interested in continuing a relationship with the woman they've dated. The number one reason the men gave was what she dubbed "the boss lady" — a personality type stereotypical of the highly successful career woman. The men in the survey made statements such as, "It felt more like a business dinner than a date," and "I get enough aggression at work. When I come home I want to be with someone softer, more nurturing." Many men said they would prefer to hire her than to date her. After being in business meetings all day, the last thing he wants is to come home to more of the same, even if it's just listening to her finishing up a business call.

All of this, of course, is not to say that there aren't any men out there who prefer smart, high-powered business women as their romantic partners (and I'm sure enjoy the benefits of the additional large paycheck), but it's basically a numbers game. The studies noted above point out that most men are looking for the complementary to themselves, not a copy of themselves with female genitalia. Men want to be the big, strong man that protects and provides for their families, and they want to be with soft, feminine women who nurture the family. It's nothing personal, it's just biology.

So if you find yourself lumped into the category of successful career woman, and you're having a tough time either finding or maintaining a romantic relationship, all is not lost. You can easily increase your odds of landing the kind of guy that you're looking for. Just be sure to leave the "boss lady" at the office, slip into something pretty, release your feminine side (we all have it inside us) and let her rock his masculine world. Your love life will thank you for it.

Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com. To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide, "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want ... and Deserve."

Author
Contributor

Explore YourTango