The best thing you can do, particularly when you've met a guy that really gives you the butterflies, is to continue to date other guys. Why? Because it will stop you from obsessing over your new infatuation and appearing desperate, it will keep you from getting too intimate with him too quickly, and it will give you a point of reference or two to compare Mr. Dreamboat with. And if you subtly let each of them know that they aren't the only one vying for your affection, it will stoke their male competitiveness and make them step up to the plate to win you over – something men are wired for. Lastly, it will give the nice coffee-date guy a running chance to show you all he's got, and it will give you time to see if Mr. Hot-Stuff actually turns out to be Mr. Not-So-Nice. It's basically a win all around.
3.) You're looking for perfection. You're having dinner with a dreamy guy, and after he's taken a bite of his meal he slides his fork out of his mouth, scraping his teeth with the fork and sending chills down your spine while he's at it. That's it – one strike and he's out – you've written him off right there. (I know this one seems silly, but I actually had a guy complain about me doing this during one of our very early dates – one strike and I was out! He didn't call for another date.)
The point is that if you're ready to drop him at the first sign of anything even remotely annoying, it's time you get realistic and know that there is no such thing as perfection, and the dogged pursuit of said perfection will get you just that: nothing. Get realistic about what you really want out of a relationship: compassion, caring, kindness. You know - the things that actually make you happy. Then cross those minor annoyances off your must-not-have list.
4.) Dating the same type of guy over and over again and expecting things to be different. You're out having cocktails with your sister-in-law after work, and she tells you she wants to introduce you to a great guy she works with. When she points him out across the bar, you immediately decline saying he's too short and you don't like blondes – he's just not your type.
The question is: how do you know he's not your type by looking at him for all of three seconds? He might be funny, kind, caring, successful, honest, and great with kids - everything that you're looking for in a guy. But you'll have no idea because you just rejected him based on one thing alone: how he looked that particular night. Remember that dating only guys that you think of as your type has gotten you exactly where you are right now – single. As Albert Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." So stop the insanity and try something different. You'll be glad you did.
Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com. To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"