It made me realize that the entire time we were busy being so picky about these superficial things that we thought were so important, we were actually settling for much less than our ideal when it came to the things that really mattered. Like how he treated us. Like how honest he was. Like how ethical, dependable, and trustworthy he was. Like how good of a potential husband and father he would make one day down the road.
As I recalled our many combined dating horror stories and the many subsequent conversations we had analyzing and over-analyzing everything about the guys involved and what he said or didn't say, did or didn't do, I realized where my own turning point was. It was when a much older and wiser (and happily married) friend, after listening to my tear filled story of yet another devastating break-up with a guy I had placed so much hope on being the one, said to me, “Think about the qualities you want in the father of your future children, and look for a guy who meets that criteria instead.”
She knew me better than I knew myself, and she recognized what I didn't see at the time – that what was really most important to me was finding a man that I could create a family with, one that would support me in being the great mother that I longed to be, and that would complement me by being the equally great father. It was then that I finally started to evaluate what I really wanted in a partner, and that those qualities started to become truly attractive to me.
3) You're being too picky if you're not willing to revisit your list.
So if you find yourself with your own slew of must haves, or an ever growing list, either physical or mental, of what you want and don't want in a guy, take a good, hard look at what's on that list and see if you're being picky about the right things. Think about what your ideal relationship looks like, how you're treated in that relationship, how you feel in that relationship, and whether or not you want to build a family. Then think about whether each of those things on your list will help you get to that ideal relationship.
If not, it's time to rethink your list.
To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve".
Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at www.gettingtotruelove.com.