Forget Pleasing Others! 7 Unapologetic Ways To Please YOURSELF

healthy habits

Find your bliss. FINALLY!

Maybe you've already experienced it  that misplaced sinking feeling that shows up right after you hit a major goal or reach a milestone.

You worked so hard to reach the end, and somehow, now that you're there ... it doesn't feel like you thought it would.

This simply means, it's time to ask yourself why you wanted to reach that goal in the first place.

Did you run that marathon so that someone else would be impressed, or did you want to finish it for your own reasons?

In You Won't Find Happiness At The Finish Line, a University of San Francisco professor implies, that we won't find happiness when we reach our goals if our purpose in achieving that goal is winning someone else's approval.

This makes sense for so many reasons. Just like we can change our minds and goals, the people we're trying to please can change their's, too.

Before long, if all we do is work at making everyone else happy, we wind up senselessly spinning around, looking for direction in the changing wind. Who knows if some of the people we're trying to impress are even aware of all our hard efforts!

Why not focus, instead, on what makes you happy? Then if you change your mind or direction, you do so because the new choice feels even more fulfilling.

But what if, after many years of impressing your boss, parents, friends, lovers, etc., you don't know what makes you happy — truly, deeply happy? Well. Here are seven healthy habits to rediscover your personal joy so that the future holds no regrets:

1. Focus on the positive.

Push away all negative thoughts, any self-doubts, worries or anyone else's voice in your head. Stay in a confident mindset with only positive thoughts. When this is difficult to do on your own, read books that reinforce the message you want to live, listen to music and watch shows that do the same.

2. Daydream.

Pay attention to what gives you a lift of energy, a surge of enthusiasm  even if just slightly. Consider when was the last time you did something where you had so much fun you forgot what time it was. (The best type of fun.)

3. Play.

We often forget to play in our routines. Whether it's a softball game, frisbee, dancing, coloring, painting, board games, or something else — just include play in your routine. Pets and kids are great excuses to get on the ground or floor and roll around or go to a playground.

4. Spend time alone.

Allow time for ideas to percolate to the surface and provide them room to settle in.

5. Try different things.

Just like spending time alone allows an opportunity for ideas, so does getting out and trying new things. If you've never tried scuba diving and always thought it looked fun, why not go to a dive center and find out more about upcoming classes? Explore the ideas that have come up in your alone time and experiment to see which you really like.

6. Spend time with people who you feel good around.

Stop thinking about people who you want to change for, and spend time with people you feel good around now — people you like and who like you. Listen closely to what they say. Maybe one of the reasons you like them is because of some of their interests. You don't have to change to share interests. Refer to #5!

7. Maintain healthy habits.

It's hard to feel good about yourself and set any exciting goals when you're overtired or hungry. Take care of the basics  eat healthy food, sleep conscientiously, take care of your household environment. We depend on the basics to move us forward to greater platforms!

By the time you get through at least a few off the list above, you begin to get an idea for what makes you happy. At the very least, you'll be concentrating more on what makes you tick and less on how to make someone think better of you! The more you impress yourself, the better you will feel.

Jan Bowen is an experienced thought leader, certified at helping her clients facilitate their life more joyfully and easily, who is passionate about working with proactive individuals who are leaders in their own life, committed to living their vision and life purpose.  If you are ready to explore living your vision, connect with Jan at to discuss partnering on your next steps forward.


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