3. Couples desire to "do it right this time." Partners in a second marriage are all marked by the same drive to really make the relationship work. This is not to say that first marriages are devoid of drive, but remarried people experience this drive on another level. Having already experienced the end of a marriage, people in second marriages develop a heightened determination to not take anything for granted. Remarried people also know too well what will happen if the marriage does not work out.
4. Couples have a sense of gratitude. In addition to drive, people who are in second marriages possess a deep sense of gratitude—gratitude for a second chance and gratitude for life and love, knowing how sweet and fleeting they can be. Gratitude elevates us. In her seminal book, Codependent No More, Melody Beattie describes the transformational powers of gratitude: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
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