Love

The Strange Emo Quality Men Notice About You First

Photo: Irene Miller / Shutterstock
man and woman flirting

Men are always checking you out. Yes, they check out your legs, your hair, your body, and your eyes.

But what may surprise you is that they're also checking out your energy. They try to gauge what your mood is, how you might be reacting to certain things, and even if you seem more open than other people.

Your energy is always showing and it gives off signals that you're probably not even aware of. Some of these signals attract men; some don't.

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It only takes an instant for men to decide if they're attracted to you. You may think that's superficial but men are taking in far more information than you realize.

   

   

Once they say to themselves, "Yes, I'm attracted to her", the next question they ask is, "I wonder if she's available?"

They decide this by seeing if you look approachable or not.

They take you in, checking to see if you're emitting feminine or masculine energy. You're probably wondering what this looks like to a man.

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If you're in your femininity, you appear receptive and available for them to approach, demonstrated by your smile and eye contact.

   

   

If he doesn't see this signal, he decides you're in your masculinity at the moment, focused on your business in the world. They see you're doing your best to compete and control your environment, just like him.

Men can tell, just by looking at you, how your energy comes across and whether they can win you or not. Men are not fond of losing or wasting their time. If you're not available, they move on.

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Your smile and eye contact are invitations to a man. They allow him to breathe in the fresh air of your femininity in a busy world. They allow him to stop for a moment to consider what's important: relationships.

Men are looking for a "yes" in a sea of "no's". Yes, men are checking you out, and the real reason they are (beyond the superficial) is to see if you're available. They need to make sure that you're going to be receptive to them approaching you.

The next time you see a guy you like checking you out, give him a devilish smile and watch the world change right before your eyes, and if a guy you don't like is checking you out, give off as much 'leave me alone' energy as you can and he should be able to take the hint.

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James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of A Life of Love and Dating Advice for Alpha Women.