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Why Being His Girlfriend Is MEANINGLESS Unless He's Also Willing To Go Deeper

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Love

Here's how to get him to commit.

For a guy, having a girlfriend and being in a relationship are two different things

When a man asks you to be his girlfriend, what you have is a label.

In order to have a relationship, there are three agreements you're going to want to make.

The label "girlfriend" doesn't tell you much of anything about what is going on in a man's mind —  because he hasn't actually agreed to anything except what to call you.

While being his girlfriend is a good start, let's look at what it takes to agree to a long-term relationship together.

 

1. He should agree to be exclusive with you.

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You may assume that since you're his girlfriend, being exclusive is an obvious fact.

However, relationships are built on mutual agreements, not assumptions.

The first agreement is made when you both verbally agree to not date other people or to portray yourself as single on dating websites.

In other words, you're exclusive.

 

2. Your relationship has continuity. 

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Continuity means you agree to see each other regularly, whatever that means for you.

A relationship is built on the ability to see someone consistently.

This usually happens naturally when you're seeing someone, but if you're seeing each other less than once a week, you may want to come to an agreement on how often you see each other.

Relationships are all about momentum. This is especially true for men.

 

3. You've made a commitment.

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Commitment is defined by what you both verbally agree are your long-term relationship goals.

Are you aiming towards marriage? Do you want to have children? Is this a summer romance?

The important thing is you both agree and are on the same page.

 

Assumptions cause anxiety and pain in the long run. Being a girlfriend is a label, not an agreement.

Agreements — which may be scary to ask for —  create a foundation for a lasting relationship.

A relationship is a conversation that doesn't end and a series of kept agreements.

The agreements you're willing to make (and the ones that you require) in the beginning will decide the future of your relationship in the end.

 

If you feel uncomfortable asking for what you need in your relationship and are afraid of the "conversation", watch James Allen Hanrahan 's DVD Chemistry to Commitment. If you're a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men's secrets in A Life of Love.