Maybe you'll have him at hello. If not, here's what to say.
You swiped right, he swiped right. You messaged each other and decided to plan your first date. Congratulations!
Along with this good news, we have one small problem: What are you going to talk about on your first date?
Since you know so little about him other than his picture, it will be helpful to know a few things to talk about that are important to men. With that in mind, I want to share with you three topics that are of the most importance to men on a first date.
Before we dive in, I want to point out that men's objectives on a first date are much different than yours. You want to know how to talk to a guy in order to get to know him and see if you have chemistry with him.
Since he saw your picture, he thinks he already has chemistry with you because men pick with their eyes. With that in mind, his next objective on the first date is to get a second date.
Obviously, he'd like to get tremendously lucky and have sex on the first date, but that's not likely to happen.
With all this in mind (and I admit it's been quite a build-up), let's talk about the three topics that men want to talk about on a first date:
1. Your hobbies.
As I mentioned, a man is looking for something to do with you on the second date. This is where your hobbies come into play.
When you tell him what you like to do, you plant seeds in his mind of things he can do with you on the second date. For example, tell him you like to go bike riding, to the movies, or hiking in the mountains.
Just remember to mention things he can actually do with you: Reading books, playing solitaire, and going to your women's group don't qualify.
But just in case you're worried that you don't have hobbies you think he would do with you, don't worry the second topic is foolproof.
2. Your hunger.
This one is easy. Just tell him what you like to eat. Tell him that you love seafood and he can say "Great! I know a great restaurant for seafood that I can take you to."
Most guys look for an easy segue into a second date that seems natural. If you tell him what you like to do and what you like to eat, you're making it easy for him to plan a second date.
Make sure you give them lots of options and don't get too focused on yourself. Remember to periodically ask him, "How about you?" Guys want to know what you like but if it gets too one-sided, it's a turn-off.
3. Your health.
These are things you do regularly for your health like going to the gym. Maybe you like to drink green smoothie drinks. Maybe you go to church or to meditation centers. Again it's not so important what you do, it's that he could do it with you.
Set him up so it's blatantly obvious what he can do with you on a second date. Another benefit of this is that you will be doing something you like to do. If he doesn't pick up on any of these clues, he's either a Neanderthal or you just don't have enough of a connection.
Either way, remember to do your part. Once you get the ball rolling, you'll get to know everything about him but you'll be able to take your time and you won't need to interview him to find it out.
This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.