Like him? Don't go all in.
When you meet a guy you really like, you have the tendency to go all in. Why not? You really like him and you want him to know.
However, there are three challenges to doing this. As much as you like him, I strongly suggest that, until he asks you to be exclusive, you should continue dating more than one person at a time — at least three other guys.
Here are three reasons why:
1. You won't get "one-itis".
Since he's your only option, you start caring too much, too soon. When you go all in, the guy gets suspicious: "How come she likes me so much? She doesn't even know me."
Another potential problem is that he'll stop making plans. Why should he when you're already making them? When a man gets too secure it becomes a problem. Don't let that happen. Avoid getting one-itis.
2. He won't stop chasing you.
Men need the anxiety of not knowing if they can win you over. It stimulates them to be on their best behavior. More importantly, if you're going to have a long-term relationship, it has to be his idea.
This is very important. Only by allowing him to chase you can you get an idea of how he handles reality. A man has to be smitten with you in order to make it in the long run. He has to know that he won you over, and being in a relationship with you was his idea.
3. You have choices.
When you meet a guy, no matter how great he is, it's too soon to put all your eggs in one basket. Dating one guy is to go all in. Dating only two is either or. But dating three is diversification, a great rule in business and in love.
Keep your options open until someone asks you to be exclusive and not date other guys. If you don't, you're practicing premature monogamy. This is a great deal for him, but unfortunately, it's a bad deal for you. For your own well-being keep dating even if you don't feel like it.
Make sure you don't get one-itis, keep him on the chase, and have choices. You want a man who knows he's earned something special, not receiving something for nothing. Until he asks you to be exclusive and you accept... be smart and date three guys.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love.
This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.