Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

3 UNMISTAKABLE Ways To Tell If A Man Will Ever Be Ready To Commit

Photo: weheartit
Ways To Tell If He's EVER Going To Be Ready To Commit
Love

How long is too long to wait for a commitment?

When you've been dating a guy for a while, it's hard to tell if he's ever going to be ready to commit.

One day, he's talking about getting you a ring and dreaming about a future, but the next, you're getting the cold shoulder.

Before you spend any more time trying to figure him out, here are 3 ways on how to know if he's ready for commitment:

1. He has a plan.

The first and most important thing is, does he have an actual concrete plan to commit? Has he told you when he wants to get engaged or married to you? Or when he wants to get you a ring?

Without a specific time frame, you don't have a plan, you have a dream.

Speaking of time, if a man has been dating you for over a year and has no plan, it's a major red flag that he's probably not going to commit.

When a guy is on the fence, he tends to stay on the fence.

2. He has a purpose for the relationship.

Every person and every relationship has to have a purpose. If you and your guy are not aiming toward something (building a family, getting a house, or getting married), the relationship will stagnate.

What makes a relationship exciting and causes you to grow are new challenges.

When you face them together, your relationship gets stronger. Without them, your relationship will become boring and he'll wonder why he's not excited to see you.

Men have to have a purpose for themselves in life and for the relationship with you.

 

RELATED: 4 Ways To Turn Your Ho-Hum Relationship Into A PHENOMENAL One

 

3. He's using his time, wisely, to plan.

Men, by nature, don't have a sense of urgency to have children. They're perfectly fine with having children someday.

Unfortunately, this may not work for you if you want children and a family someday. If you're hoping by avoiding the topic and by having a good time, he will suddenly come around, it doesn't work that way. That is a poor strategy.

Men are all about momentum. If after a year of dating you, he doesn't have a plan, you're losing momentum.

I strongly suggest that you require a plan, know what the purpose of your relationship is, and don't let time slip away on you.

Men commit to what you require to be in a relationship. You have to know what that is for you. The key here is to love him, but not more than yourself.

When you're willing to walk away when necessary from a man who doesn't have a plan or a purpose, you're ready to be with one who does.

Hopefully, you will inspire the guy you're with to take the journey with you. Having a plan and a purpose are concepts a man can relate to.

Either way, you will know by his actions if he's ever going to be ready to commit and you can decide what's best for you. Love him, but not more than yourself.

James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you're a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men's secrets to fall in love in Dating Advice for Alpha Women.

Watch Expert Annie Gleason discuss commitment in this video.

This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.