Before You Breakup: Everything Is Forgivable

By

Before You Breakup: Everything Is Forgivable
If you're still thinking of leaving maybe you're not done. Consider this.

I'm working with a couple right now Kathy who says he cheated and Brian who says she left. Brian insists that before she left he wanted to marry her but now no longer has the feeling. Kathy says she cannot trust him. To say the least they are having trouble getting back together even though a part of them wants to otherwise why would they be talking to me.

The ironic things is when you love someone all things are forgivable. One because if you love someone you want them to be happy even if it's not with you. You realize that all people make mistakes including you and it is not the mistakes you make that end relationships it is how you negotiate after the mistake that decides the outcome.

Brian thinks he can't forgive Kathy because she left. The one question his pain doesn't allow him to ask is why she left. And even though she has explained to him why she left his pain doesn't allow him to hear it. The problem is not that she left people get mad and leave all the time it's the wound it touched in him. If it's hysterical its historical. If it's about your pride it's about your low self esteem. Confident people don't expect perfection they are focused on the solution. They realize that other people have the right to be, feel, think and share their way. Read A Life Of Love.

It's sad to hear people who love each other end relationships over what they believe is unforgivable and what their well meaning single friends agree with them is unforgivable. Nothing is unforgivable to love. The question is what are we going to do now. Our wounds are healed when we walk through them. We forgive people because it heals us and it is to painful to do otherwise. Love makes it safe enough to face your worst fears and recover your innocence.

Bitterness, resentment, and being right doesn't heal you. Happy ever after doesn't heal you it's the hard moments we don't run from that heal us, that give us back ourselves. Wherever there is love I will work like a dog to help people keep it because it's so valuable to them even though they might not believe it right now. If you've ever loved someone there is always a chance. If you want help contact me.

Much love,

James

P.S. If you've ever had chemistry with someone there is hope. For difficult situations http://jamesallenhanrahan.com/coaching.html

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

James Allen Hanrahan

Relationship Coach

I work with professional alpha women and the men who love them. Smart, successful people with an on going war between their head and their heart which makes it difficult to have lasting, loving relationships. Welcome.

Checkout videos, products, articles and personal coaching...

Thank you James!
I just went out with a guy who is just the way you described it (feminine energy man), and was such a turn off! He started as a ten and as you mentioned, he did not give me any material, nor protected me (he actually crashed his bike against mine and I fell off the ground), and he cares about his feelings, not mine. So even though he seems like an amazing guy (in so many other areas), all these things put together were such a turnoff! And he keeps himself poor! Jees...Thank you for putting it in such a clean cut way!

 Do you give too much?  Do you have trouble receiving? When you understand what to say and how to say it to a man you will attract and keep the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Having been alone for many years I know how painful and frustrating it can be not to know why or what to do or say. 

However as a result of what I want to share with you I'm now happily married. It's been a long journey and I want the same for you because in the end love is all that matters. It's possible and you deserve to be loved for who you are inside. Contact me and find your way back to love from the "Inside out Outside in"..

Much love,

James

 

 

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by James Allen Hanrahan:

3 Secrets Why Guys Leave You

By

It can be devastating when a guy leaves you and you don't know why. You can spend months sometimes even years trying to figure it out. This can be even worse than the guy leaving you because it can keep you bonded to him and keep you from meeting someone else. Here are 3 secrets to consider. One You ask for more, better or different. This is a tough ... Read more

Why The Love Yourself First Myth Doesn't Work

By

One of the greatest myths of our time is the love yourself first myth. This along with perfection kept me single a long time... The advantage to working on loving yourself first is you don't have to deal with anyone else. The disadvantage is we don't love alone we have to be reflected. Don't get me wrong if I had the time I would love to spend a few ... Read more

Pick The Right Guy Why Hot Guys Don't Last

By

Men have a temperature gauge. When you meet the right guy you will feel it. The question is how will you feel? If your temperature gauge is set for hot you won't feel anything unless the guy is hot. The trick is to understand what makes a guy hot for you and how to pick the right guy. If he's handsome, smart and successful great however if he's ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB