Free Sex Can Be The Most Expensive


Free Sex Can Be The Most Expensive
How much is free sex costing you?

Have you ever had free sex? By free sex, I mean having a one night stand, friends with benefits sex, or sex where 'we both know this isn't going anywhere.' You've probably never thought about it, but free sex may be the most expensive sex you'll ever have. It may cost you ever having children or grandchildren, and spending the last of your days alone.

Have you ever met the perfect person or a dream partner? Or are you still waiting to meet the perfect person? I believe we've all met the perfect person; the challenge is when the perfect person becomes imperfect. When they do something we don't like, when they hurt us, when they don't call us back, or when they let us down.


Everyone is perfect for the first 90 days: it's called the perfect phase. Some people live continually in the perfect phase. They're called 90 day wonders. They meet someone,  they have sex on the first day, and every day thereafter. They spend all their time together, until somewhere around the 90th day, the perfect person becomes imperfect, and they wonder what happened.

Then they call their forgotten best friend, you, everyday, heartbroken; they can't believe it didn't work out, convinced they can't get over it until suddenly you don't hear from them. Do you know what happened? They met another perfect person. On and on they go, chasing mirage after mirage until at the end of their days they look back and the don't see their grandchildren, they don't see their children, instead they spend the rest of their days alone.

Do you know what a man gives up when he commits, when he gets married? Besides all the great free sex he thinks he could be having ... irresponsibility. He takes on responsibility for others. Do you know what a woman gives up? Besides George Clooney ... independence.

Together they form an interdependence. They commit to a relationship with an imperfect person, then at the end of their days when they look back, they see their grandchildren, they see their children, and they have each other. They're not alone.

Virtue and integrity are the foundations of love and a well-lived life. The only way you know you love yourself — or anyone else — is by the commitments you're willing to make and keep. Sex is great, it inspires us — but love brings us home.

Get coaching from a male perspective.Change your relationship status from single to in a relationship.

More Advice on Relationships from YourTango:

This article was originally published at James Allen Hanrahan . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

James Allen Hanrahan

Relationship Coach

I work with professional alpha women and the men who love them. Smart, successful people with an on going war between their head and their heart which makes it difficult to have lasting, loving relationships. Welcome.

Checkout videos, products, articles and personal coaching...

Thank you James!
I just went out with a guy who is just the way you described it (feminine energy man), and was such a turn off! He started as a ten and as you mentioned, he did not give me any material, nor protected me (he actually crashed his bike against mine and I fell off the ground), and he cares about his feelings, not mine. So even though he seems like an amazing guy (in so many other areas), all these things put together were such a turnoff! And he keeps himself poor! Jees...Thank you for putting it in such a clean cut way!

 Do you give too much?  Do you have trouble receiving? When you understand what to say and how to say it to a man you will attract and keep the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Having been alone for many years I know how painful and frustrating it can be not to know why or what to do or say. 

However as a result of what I want to share with you I'm now happily married. It's been a long journey and I want the same for you because in the end love is all that matters. It's possible and you deserve to be loved for who you are inside. Contact me and find your way back to love from the "Inside out Outside in"..

Much love,




Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by James Allen Hanrahan:

When Should I Have Sex With Him?


There's no greater feeling than meeting a guy and feeling the kind of chemistry that tears your clothes off. The body wants what the body wants and who doesn't want to feel good, it's exciting to ride the feeling. The question is are you looking to build something with someone or are you hooking up? There's no right or wrong answer the ... Read more

Look For These 2 Signs To See If He's Ready To Marry You


If you've ever tried to read a man's mind, you know how frustrating it can be. Even the greatest palm readers and fortune tellers can't help you. You probably think asking him questions and getting him to talk is a good idea ... unless of course you've tried that and realize it's useless. Before you go to ask him another question, ... Read more

My Ex Dumped Me Now What?


It's human nature to want him back. We don't take loss well. Especially if we've had experience of sudden unexplainable loss in the past. Pain can make us want to do anything to get out of it. There can seem like only one solution. Get him back. I'm going to suggest something to you that's going to sound counter intuitive. The suggestion ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular