Free Sex Can Be The Most Expensive


Free Sex Can Be The Most Expensive
How much is free sex costing you?

Have you ever had free sex? By free sex, I mean having a one night stand, friends with benefits sex, or sex where 'we both know this isn't going anywhere.' You've probably never thought about it, but free sex may be the most expensive sex you'll ever have. It may cost you ever having children or grandchildren, and spending the last of your days alone.

Have you ever met the perfect person or a dream partner? Or are you still waiting to meet the perfect person? I believe we've all met the perfect person; the challenge is when the perfect person becomes imperfect. When they do something we don't like, when they hurt us, when they don't call us back, or when they let us down.

Everyone is perfect for the first 90 days: it's called the perfect phase. Some people live continually in the perfect phase. They're called 90 day wonders. They meet someone,  they have sex on the first day, and every day thereafter. They spend all their time together, until somewhere around the 90th day, the perfect person becomes imperfect, and they wonder what happened.

Then they call their forgotten best friend, you, everyday, heartbroken; they can't believe it didn't work out, convinced they can't get over it until suddenly you don't hear from them. Do you know what happened? They met another perfect person. On and on they go, chasing mirage after mirage until at the end of their days they look back and the don't see their grandchildren, they don't see their children, instead they spend the rest of their days alone.

Do you know what a man gives up when he commits, when he gets married? Besides all the great free sex he thinks he could be having ... irresponsibility. He takes on responsibility for others. Do you know what a woman gives up? Besides George Clooney ... independence.

Together they form an interdependence. They commit to a relationship with an imperfect person, then at the end of their days when they look back, they see their grandchildren, they see their children, and they have each other. They're not alone.

Virtue and integrity are the foundations of love and a well-lived life. The only way you know you love yourself — or anyone else — is by the commitments you're willing to make and keep. Sex is great, it inspires us — but love brings us home.

Get coaching from a male perspective.Change your relationship status from single to in a relationship.

More Advice on Relationships from YourTango:

This article was originally published at James Allen Hanrahan . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

James Allen Hanrahan

Relationship Coach

I work with professional alpha women and the men who love them. Smart, successful people with an on going war between their head and their heart which makes it difficult to have lasting, loving relationships. Welcome.

Checkout videos, products, articles and personal coaching...

Thank you James!
I just went out with a guy who is just the way you described it (feminine energy man), and was such a turn off! He started as a ten and as you mentioned, he did not give me any material, nor protected me (he actually crashed his bike against mine and I fell off the ground), and he cares about his feelings, not mine. So even though he seems like an amazing guy (in so many other areas), all these things put together were such a turnoff! And he keeps himself poor! Jees...Thank you for putting it in such a clean cut way!

 Do you give too much?  Do you have trouble receiving? When you understand what to say and how to say it to a man you will attract and keep the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Having been alone for many years I know how painful and frustrating it can be not to know why or what to do or say. 

However as a result of what I want to share with you I'm now happily married. It's been a long journey and I want the same for you because in the end love is all that matters. It's possible and you deserve to be loved for who you are inside. Contact me and find your way back to love from the "Inside out Outside in"..

Much love,




Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by James Allen Hanrahan:

3 Reasons You Don't Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back


His number is still in your phone in spite of many attempts to delete it. It's been a particularly hard day and your lonely. All the guys you've been meeting are boring. Before you throw all the hard work of getting over him; it can take up to two years read A Life Of Love out the window and call him consider these 3 reasons not to want your ex ... Read more

Why Beta Relationship Advice Doesn't Work For Alpha Women


 If you've ever wondered why regular relationship advice doesn't work for you, it's because you're an Alpha. Simplistic advice works for betas because they're not complicated people and they don't give life or relationships much thought. They don't have to. There's no war between their head and their heart. They are looking ... Read more

3 Steps That Make All Men Committable


If you're wondering why a man won't commit to you as many of my clients do then one if not all of 3 important steps is missing. Commitment is a step by step process for men. No step can be skipped or washed over. The first thing I suggest is you invest 98 minutes and 37 dollars and watch the DVD Chemistry to Commitment now. In the meantime. Step ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.