When you stop to think about it compatibilty is when two people like each other. When your body is on fire this might not seem important. When your house burns down it is. We’re definitely playing with fire when we mate. The right person can take us to highs we only dream of. The wrong person well we already know how that goes.
Like is underrated. Commonality does not invoke fireworks. That's the reason it's important, it's foundational. When we like someone they grow on us. They grow with us, our paths join, we have common interests. It can be as simple as geography. We both like to live in the same place, the same country. Like is often underestimated. I joke with my friend. He says, "I just met a girl from Peru." I say, "Great. When are you moving to Peru?"
It can be as seemingly trivial as when you go to bed, when you get up, what kind of movies you like, common hobbies. Perhaps the biggest piece is how you spend your time. Time alone, time together, time with other people. Some people are extroverts, they like to be around people. They get their energy being around people. Some people are introverts; they gather energy by being alone. Like goes a long way. Like takes time, it takes objectivity, something chemistry often doesn’t have. Building a life together is not magical thinking; it’s brick by brick, stone by stone,foundational. The basic foundation is agreement.
People who can make and keep agreements are commitible. When we like each other we begin to get on the same page, then we write the book. Commonality gives us a chance.Long distance doesn't. Conflicting lifestyles doesn't. Conflicting values doesn't. Common ground is simple. I like you. I like how you are. I like who you are. I like your house, your clothes, your car. I like you enough. Not perfect .Enough. You are someone I can laugh with.
We're looking for integrity, for soundness of mind and body. Someone we can resonate with, who hears us and sees us. Physical beauty is packaging. We take the wrapper off to find the things we’re looking for.
Consider a short term dating coach to answer your questions about men.
More dating coach advice from YourTango: