Do You Like The Guy You're Dating?

By

Do You Like The Guy You're Dating?
Are you and your boyfriend compatible?

When you stop to think about it compatibilty is when two people like each other. When your body is on fire this might not seem important. When your house burns down it is. We’re definitely playing with fire when we mate. The right person can take us to highs we only dream of. The wrong person well we already know how that goes.

Like is underrated. Commonality does not invoke fireworks. That's the reason it's important, it's foundational. When we like someone they grow on us. They grow with us, our paths join, we have common interests. It can be as simple as geography. We both like to live in the same place, the same country. Like is often underestimated. I joke with my friend. He says, "I just met a girl from Peru." I say, "Great. When are you moving to Peru?"

It can be as seemingly trivial as when you go to bed, when you get up, what kind of movies you like, common hobbies. Perhaps the biggest piece is how you spend your time. Time alone, time together, time with other people. Some people are extroverts, they like to be around people. They get their energy being around people. Some people are introverts; they gather energy by being alone. Like goes a long way. Like takes time, it takes objectivity, something chemistry often doesn’t have. Building a life together is not magical thinking; it’s brick by brick, stone by stone,foundational. The basic foundation is agreement.

People who can make and keep agreements are commitible. When we like each other we begin to get on the same page, then we write the book. Commonality gives us a chance.Long distance doesn't. Conflicting lifestyles doesn't. Conflicting values doesn't. Common ground is simple. I like you. I like how you are. I like who you are. I like your house, your clothes, your car. I like you enough. Not perfect .Enough. You are someone I can laugh with.

We're looking for integrity, for soundness of mind and body. Someone we can resonate with, who hears us and sees us. Physical beauty is packaging. We take the wrapper off to find the things we’re looking for.

Consider a short term dating coach to answer your questions about men.

More dating coach advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

James Allen Hanrahan

Relationship Coach

I work with professional alpha women and the men who love them. Smart, successful people with an on going war between their head and their heart which makes it difficult to have lasting, loving relationships. Welcome.

Checkout videos, products, articles and personal coaching...

Thank you James!
I just went out with a guy who is just the way you described it (feminine energy man), and was such a turn off! He started as a ten and as you mentioned, he did not give me any material, nor protected me (he actually crashed his bike against mine and I fell off the ground), and he cares about his feelings, not mine. So even though he seems like an amazing guy (in so many other areas), all these things put together were such a turnoff! And he keeps himself poor! Jees...Thank you for putting it in such a clean cut way!

 Do you give too much?  Do you have trouble receiving? When you understand what to say and how to say it to a man you will attract and keep the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. Having been alone for many years I know how painful and frustrating it can be not to know why or what to do or say. 

However as a result of what I want to share with you I'm now happily married. It's been a long journey and I want the same for you because in the end love is all that matters. It's possible and you deserve to be loved for who you are inside. Contact me and find your way back to love from the "Inside out Outside in"..

Much love,

James

 

 

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by James Allen Hanrahan:

3 Secrets Why Guys Leave You

By

It can be devastating when a guy leaves you and you don't know why. You can spend months sometimes even years trying to figure it out. This can be even worse than the guy leaving you because it can keep you bonded to him and keep you from meeting someone else. Here are 3 secrets to consider. One You ask for more, better or different. This is a tough ... Read more

Why The Love Yourself First Myth Doesn't Work

By

One of the greatest myths of our time is the love yourself first myth. This along with perfection kept me single a long time... The advantage to working on loving yourself first is you don't have to deal with anyone else. The disadvantage is we don't love alone we have to be reflected. Don't get me wrong if I had the time I would love to spend a few ... Read more

Pick The Right Guy Why Hot Guys Don't Last

By

Men have a temperature gauge. When you meet the right guy you will feel it. The question is how will you feel? If your temperature gauge is set for hot you won't feel anything unless the guy is hot. The trick is to understand what makes a guy hot for you and how to pick the right guy. If he's handsome, smart and successful great however if he's ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB