What's Your "Debt Limit"?

By

What's Your "Debt Limit"?
How important is your financial health in the dating pool?

As we wait and watch our country do battle over the debt limit, this might be a good time to think about your financial health.  As I watch single women trot out onto the social scene with hopes of snaring a good man, I often see them pay more attention to their hair than to what it cost to get that cut/color/highlight.

That's just fine and dandy if you're looking for a quick "hookup" or a casual boyfriend, but the reality is, no fiscally responsible man is going to "put a ring on it" if it's looking likely that you're going to blow through his cash.  How does he know?  He watches what you do with yours!

Now, of course, there are plenty of men who are harboring a mess in their financial corner. But I'm here to reach out to the frustrated women who are wondering how to find a man who is financially secure and responsible. Step number one, is to make sure that you're squeaky clean yourself.

This discussion may seem like it's about money, and who makes enough, but it's not. It's actually about putting your value system on display. Do you value personal responsibility? Great! Show it by taking care of your own responsibilities. If you need to downsize to pay your bills on time, do it. If you need to color your hair yourself this month, do it.  And if you need to sell your sofa on Craigslist instead of calling your Mom and Dad to bail you out, then you do it!

Do you have Integrity? Then your credit report should be a reflection of that. If you promised someone you would pay something back (whether it was a bank or a private party), then demonstrating integrity means that you VALUE your word and you take your promises seriously. This says a lot about you to the man that you're with. Consider exchanging credit reports before you exchange rings.

The bottom line, is that it's not about what you have, but how you manage it that displays your financial value system. Since money breaks up more marriages than anything else, don't forget this part of the equation before you get married. And please, make sure that his behavior matches the financial values that you hold near and dear to you. The amount of dollars and cents you have together as a married couple will vary throughout the years, but how you handle it should be a team effort, instead of grounds for battle.  If you're not sure what your man's financial values are, contact me and tell me your dating story.  I'll likely answer your question in one of my "Ask Jaime" newsletters!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.