Is it OK to make a list of qualities you want in a partner? Find out how to make it work for you.
You've heard about "the list". You've seen Patti Stanger tear them to pieces on her "Millionaire Matchmaker" show. You've also heard your girlfriends go on and on about all of the qualities they're looking for in a man. As a matchmaker with a free database for my women to join, I see them coming through often enough. They often start like this: "Over 6'; has all of his hair; successful; can cook; likes jazz music; loves kids; buys me presents..." You get the point. Often, these lists keep women single, while they go about proudly wearing their badge that says “I'm just too picky!” Uh...yes, you are. But I don't say this because you have standards. I only say this (lovingly), because you're probably focusing on the wrong things. You're focusing on your wants, instead of your needs. The other thing that I find most interesting about women's lists, is that although we accuse men of being too physically focused, I find that women's lists are VERY focused on superficial things! Especially appearance!
But a list can be great, too! Done right, they can stir the Universe up in the right direction and deposit "Mr. Fabulous for You" right on your doorstep! So, let's get the law of attraction working in our favor, ladies. Here's your steps for creating a great man list:
1. Write your first list. A ridiculous one! Include every fantasy in the book! I've gotten four page typed lists from women before...
2. Take your list down to 10 items only, and not one of these traits can be physical or superficial. They must be things like “kind, generous, fun, addiction-free, reliable...” Get the picture? THIS, is your list for the Universe. THIS is the list that I want you to hang up on the wall where only you will see it every day. Pray over it, conduct ceremonies with it, meditate on it. Do whatever brings attention to your list regularly.
3. Pick three items off of your list of 10. Three things that you absolutely cannot live without. Those are the only things that you are allowed to tell your friends that you're looking for in a man, and the only things that you're allowed to refer to in your online dating profile.
4. Now, I want you to make his list. Put yourself in his shoes. I want you to write down everything that you feel that your "list man" would seek in a partner. What would make your dream guy happy? If you have no idea, think of all of the happily married couples that you know, and interview the men! What are their favorite things about their wives? Write those things down. Now, it's time to have an honest and introspective pow wow with yourself about what you have to offer on his list.
So, get in touch with your needs, and be intentional about them. You may be surprised how fast he shows up in your life. You may also be surprised to find that he's been under your nose all along, but you missed him because his resume items didn't match your original list. Amazing husband material often comes in unusual packages.