What To Do When A Loved One Comes Out Of The Closet


What To Do When A Loved One Comes Out Of The Closet [EXPERT]
Here are five ways to show your support.

October 11th is National Coming Out Day, when many members of the LGBT community and its allies share their stories with the world in hopes of helping those who are struggling with gender identity issues.

This article is for the friends and family members of gay people who have not yet come out of the closet. I want to provide you with some tips that you can use ... not only to support your gay loved one, but also to help you cope with the news.


1. Remain calm. I know that the news may come as a shock, but you have to remain calm. Heightened emotions can make any stressful situation ten times worse, and chances are, your loved one is already dealing with a lot of emotions internally.

Remember, it probably took a lot of courage for him/her to open up to you about his/her sexuality. The worst thing you can do is get mad and lash out because you run the risk of saying something that you don't mean and possibly pushing your loved one away. If you truly love them, the last thing you want to do is make them feel like they can't count on you as a parent, sibling or friend.

2. Take your time. Learning that a loved one is gay can be a lot of information to take in at one time. Make sure you take the time to stop, look and listen to what is going on and understand what it means to you and your loved one.

If you find yourself at a loss for words and need some time to think it over, make sure you say it. Try not to leave the person in question hanging after dropping such a big bomb. If you communicate that you need some time, he/she will appreciate it much more because he/she will know that at least you are trying to work through your feelings.

More advice from YourTango experts:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

J. Cameron Gantt

Dating Coach

J. Cameron Gantt is a Certified Life Coach and Matchmaker for Insti(Gay)tor, The Exclusively Gay Matchmaking Agency. He is a featured contributor for various dating and relationship websites offering expert advice on GLBT dating and relationships.

Connect with J. Cameron at www.instigaytor.com and receive his FREE E-Gude “3 Secrets To Attract More Dates!”



Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: CPC
Other Articles/News by J. Cameron Gantt:

The 7 Stages Of Getting Over Your Cheating Ex


We have all been there. You’re in a relationship and find out that the one you love and trusted with all of your heart has betrayed you by “giving it up” to someone else. There’s no predictability involved in the scenario. You might think that things are at their best. Sometimes you might even acknowledge that things aren’t all ... Read more

Why You Still Aren't Over Your Ex


Having trouble getting over your last relationship? Wondering why you can't seem to get your ex — or the breakup — out of your mind? If so, help is on the way. In this video, relationship coach and YourTango Expert J. Cameron Gantt shares his advice on what to do if you can't move on from your ex. He advises that you ask yourself why the ... Read more

Here's The Best Way To Come Out To Your Parents


There's no question that coming out can be really hard. But hiding who you are can end up having a negative effect on your self esteem. When you're finally ready to come clean to your folks about your sexual preference, it's important to take a few things into consideration. When dating coach J. Cameron Gantt explains that you have to ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular