Ditching that list of deal-breakers could help reboot your love life.
Dating should be an adventure. It should be about meeting new people, having new experiences, taking chances, making mistakes and learning from them. That's what makes dating so rewarding. Once you find what you’re looking for, it's that much more special and you can appreciate what you went through to find it. Counting someone out before giving them a chance only hurts your chances of finding someone who might turn out to be great for you. You will definitely pay the cost by missing out on some great people.
Here are three questions to consider when determining if your "list" is sabotaging your love life.
1. Has your list been working in your favor?
Have you been able to meet people who fit the bill? If it's not broke, don’t fix it, but if you are finding it hard to date the type of people you want, chances are that you are getting caught up in a land of fantasy and may need to go back and make some revisions.
2. How long is your list?
For every bullet point on your list, you decrease the amount of candidates in your dating pool. You shouldn't really have more than three to five absolute deal breakers on your list. Everything else should allow room for some flexibility. Remember, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Where they may be lacking in one area, they may compensate for in another. Digital Infidelity: Innocent Fun Or Online Affair?
3. Does your list focus more on chemistry or physical characteristics?
If your list is geared more towards finding someone who looks good in jeans rather than the way a person treats you and how you feel when you are with them, you may be a bit shallow. Definitely take some time to think about what's more important to you and adjust your list towards finding someone who will be loyal, loving and treat you with respect. Who knows, just by opening your mind you may be able to find someone that is perfect for you.
Besides being a YourTango Dating Expert, J. Cameron Gantt is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based GLBT matchmaking agency. Download his FREE E-Guide “3 Secrets To Attract More Dates” or contact him directly for a FREE 60 minute consultation.