Another thing you should avoid doing is turning your profile into a checklist. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, but the person on the other end needs to feel engaged. The last thing you want to be compared to is a “standard operating procedure” or “grocery” list. It’s boring!
If you are interested in finding someone who is active and in good shape, try saying something like this: “I am very active and I enjoy going to the gym. It would be nice to find someone enjoys the same.” This is much more appealing that a “must be in shape” bullet point.
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4. Signs of Desperation
Nobody wants damaged goods. In fact, I would say that desperation is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can have. If you are on a dating site with the hopes of meeting someone special, there are probably some intimate details that you should keep to yourself.
o Past relationships – Nobody needs to know how good or how bad your ex treated you. Nobody wants to hear a sob story about how he/she cheated on you. They also don’t want to hear how great he/she treated you because they are already being put in a position of comparison. Not only is it awkward, but it leaves the door open for people to take advantage of the weakness you are displaying. It’s a no win situation so stay away from it.
o Don’t reference your sexual behaviors – I’ll say this again, save it for a sex site. Talking about how big your penis is or how good you are in bed is distracting, unnecessary and most of the time the claims are untrue. Bottom line, it makes you look desperate for sex and it also plants the seed that it’s the only thing you may be able to contribute to a relationship. A quality match will probably be turned off and not give you a second look. If they do, you are going spend a lot of time separating yourself from that first impression.
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Besides being a YourTango Dating Expert, J. Cameron Gantt is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based GLBT matchmaking agency. Need advice? Contact him directly via YourTango.com/experts or visit www.instigaytor.com for more info.