Stop, Look and Listen!
Pay attention to your actions and reactions. It easy for us to get distracted with responsibilities and find ourselves stuck on autopilot. A lot of times, I find that people get caught up taking on responsibilities and emotions that really serve them no purpose. It’s wasted energy.
Everything you do should serve your purpose. If you find yourself in a place where you feel like you are just going through the motions, take a time out to stop and reevaluate things. No matter how big or small the task at hand or how major or minor the info you are receiving, ask yourself: How will my actions or reaction to this situation serve my purpose?
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If it doesn’t serve a positive purpose, don’t subscribe to it. Trust me, this will eliminate a lot of the drama and unnecessary BS from your life and that new energy will attract people who are on the same level. Nobody wants a high-maintenance partner.
Eliminate The Negative Self-Talk
We all have our good days and bad days and sometimes, insecurities can get the better of us. It would be unrealistic to say that you should never have a bad day ever. It just doesn’t work that way and anyone who says that they are 100% confident all the time has a good poker face.
A lot of confidence issues stem from comparisons we make between ourselves and the lives of those we know. Those comparisons are reinforced with negative self-talk and that talk is what tricks us into thinking that we are not good enough.
When you find yourself lost in a sea of negative self-talk, just replace it with positive talk. Look at your accomplishments, big or small, and celebrate them. If something is really bothering you, transform that bad juju into productive energy and get to work on changing that situation.
When you do get into a relationship, you will be better equipped to love that person, flaws and all.
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Besides being a YourTango Dating Expert, J. Cameron Gantt is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based GLBT matchmaking agency. Download his FREE E-Guide “3 Secrets To Attract More Dates” or contact him directly for a FREE 60 minute consultation.