Once you have instigated that conversation with yourself, you can work on identifying the root of your defenses.
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We are all different and there can be a million and one reasons as to why we act the way we do. Once you have discovered and acknowledged the root of your resistance, you have to decide if it is something that you are willing to change. If you can figure this out, you can start working on a solution.
Once you have had the time to make a decision, it’s time to have this same discussion with your potential partner. Communication is the key!
Chances are that your guy is not a mind reader. The only way he is going to know and understand what your expectations are is if you tell him. Before anything moves forward, I would definitely encourage you to have a conversation with him. You don’t have to go into all the gory details, but focus on the elements that will translate into your relationship with him. This has to be a two-way conversation. As he listens to your expectations, you should be listening to his.
Once everything is laid out on the table, you both can make an informed decision on if and how you should move forward.
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Besides being a YourTango Dating Expert, J. Cameron Gantt is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based GLBT matchmaking agency. Need advice? Contact him directly via YourTango.com/experts or visit www.instigaytor.com for more info.