3-Set and honor your own boundaries. Once you discover, embrace, and deal with your stuff, you can set and maintain boundaries that honor you. If your boundary is no sex until commitment, you know why it is important to YOU and you can choose to stand for that for yourself. No relying on the man to do your job for you. Or you may want total honesty-full disclosure of all sexual activity even if you aren’t monogamous. Or maybe yelling is off the table. Or full-emotional expression even anger is what you need – you don’t like people harboring secret feelings. Whatever your boundary, you can set that boundary for yourself and speak it as a truth for you, not a demand of him. You tell him as these things come up as a part of the getting to know you process. Not as a list of commands on the first date. For example, if you prefer not to have intercourse until commitment is established, you end the date at the door or if you invite him up you simply state what will and will not happen. “I’ve had a great evening and I’d love to have you up for coffee. I really enjoy being held and kissed by you, and I’m just not ready for more than that. Are you comfortable spending time with me with those limitations?” If he’s not, you can call it a night, or continue the date in a public location, or create something else that works for the two of you. However, you have set and honored YOUR boundaries.
4-Move on when he’s not the one. If you happened to go out with someone once or twice and you don’t feel the connection or he’s doesn’t seem to be in a place in his life where what YOU want is possible see step number 3, lol. Let him know what’s important to you. AND if those things aren’t present, move on. If you thought there was possibility present and he doesn’t call or return your calls. Move on. Either way, the sooner you move on, the sooner you can have what you want instead of wasting time, energy, and good mascara on a man who is not “on the same page” with you. Hanging on doesn’t serve you. And will ultimately leave you feeling drained and resentful of this man and sometimes all men if this becomes a consistent pattern.
Being an invitation is about knowing yourself and doing what is best for you. About excepting nothing less than what you want and deserve for yourself. When you can be a “Bitch - a Babe In-Total-Control-of Herself,” you won’t have to worry about Mr. Wrong. You’ll be too busy enjoying Mr. Right!