So the day started with some interesting news. I got back another set of test results. All normal except Thyroid readings which were low.
Of course they couldn't tell me if that was the cause of any of the other symptoms I have, but they did offer me drugs. I think that a standard medical practice is to offer drugs to the patient before they ask so you can cut down on the amount of time you actually have to spend with them, especially since you don't actually know what's wrong.
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So I declined the drugs and said I would work on it myself and re-test in a month. The interesting thing is, I had a conversation with myself about this very thing. I woke up thinking, I'll give myself 30 days to see if my body responds to all this TLC I've been committed to giving myself and if it doesn't I'll take it to the next level. I acknowledged that I didn't develop any of these issues over night and I certainly wasn't going become a vital healthy woman over night. So her call was just confirmation of what I somehow already intuitively knew about my body.
I am grateful for modern medicine and doctor's but I realize that we have to rely on ourselves as much as we rely on them. Maybe even more. Test results are no substitute for what my body was telling me every day all the time.
I know I need more sleep and I am working on getting to bed earlier each night. I know I need more exercise, specifically weight training or resistance training. I know I need to eat more fruits, veggies, and drink more water. No doctor had to tell me that. These are things we know to do. I know to do. The key is to do them, consistently.
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I tell my daughter all the time "do what you know to do." I realized during this journey that a large part of the problem has been my failure to do just that. I know that you must take care of yourself. I know that the benefits and rewards are great when you do, and the journey back to vitality is far more challenging than remaining healthy in the first place.
And as I sit here and write my blog entry with a hot cup of strawberry and cream tea (yummy) and my Snack Wells (only 2) I am realizing how much writing about this journey has really helped me. How much it has made me present to all the things I do well, and all the places that need attention. It has helped me really see the ways in which I cherish my well=being and the places where I sell myself out. It has help me see where I lift myself up and the places where I tear myself down. It has help me see the risk and rewards of self care, and the aches and pains of neglect. It has helped me to treasure all of myself. And I hope it has helped you too.