If you want to avoid addiction, you need to be clear about what you want from the beginning. There are times, when you may know a man is a great lover, and that doesn’t mean he should become YOUR lover. Yes, ladies, I am advocating you take responsibility for your sex life. If you want to be empowered in your dating and relationship the first rule is to create your own rules and play by them. If you want a relationship, don’t take lovers, or at least don’t take lovers with zero relationship possibility. If you want to be married, don’t stay in a long term relationship with a man who doesn’t want to be married. If you want children don’t go out with men who aren’t interested in becoming a father. Date men, who are on the same page you are; then if you choose to take a lover, or not, at least you are playing the game by your own rules. You are engaging men where you want to be, not engaging men that have no interested in your relationship dream.
What do I do if I am addicted?
More from YourTango: Day 19: I Call a Do Over
One word - Detox! Men are quite content to allow you to continue to give up the goods until he’s chosen to be done. Make no mistake I am not blaming him. You are equally responsible equally empowered if not more so to end this relationship and move on. If you know you have an addictive relationship, cut it off! Go cold turkey. You can’t wean yourself off of this one. You need to look yourself in the eye and choose yourself not his penis. And for some it may not be the penis, it could be the drama, or maybe drugs and/or alcohol are involved. The remedy is the same. Get off the stuff and get on with your life! If you can’t do it alone, get help. Get support from a friend, a coach, a counselor, or spiritual guide. Don’t spend one more minute with someone on that has you on an emotional and sexual roller coaster ride. You are wasting time in a relationship that is going nowhere.
More from YourTango: Day 16 & 17 - This is Gonna Take Something
You can replace things. You can get more sex. But you cannot get back the time you’ve lost hanging out with some guy who isn’t on your relationship page. Don’t look back 5, 10, 15 years still getting a twice a week conjugal visit from some guy who isn’t interested in you beyond the point of ejaculation.