There’s also the psychological addiction of believing you are better with him than without him. He actually adds to your life no matter that you have nothing in common, you spend little time together, he never contacts you except to make that infamous “booty call”. You rationalize how much he cares about you and every time you have sex you vow to stop telling your girlfriends about your relationship because they “just don’t understand him, us.”
Doctors, psychologist, therapist, and coaches know, that we can become emotionally addicted, physically, and mentally addicted to someone. They have a technical term for it call co-dependence, dysfunction, or abuse. Yes I said abuse. If I guy has got you strung out on his c*ck, then what would you call it. And as I’ve said before, ALL addictions are unhealthy. So what’s a girl to do?
How do I avoid addiction?
Well to avoid addiction, you need to tell the truth. Not to anyone else to yourself. Why are you seeing this guy? What else does he offer you besides good sex? Be honest. No one is around but you. If you can’t tell the truth to yourself, you may never get beyond this man. It is important to acknowledge the relationship for what it is. And if you are seeing a man only for sex, and deep in your heart you know you want something else from him, from any man, then tell it like it is to you and to him.
Once you own up to “what’s so” about the relationship, the actual facts then you can make healthy choices that honor your boundaries. This guy is not Mr. Right. Don’t treat him like he is. Engage him and the relationship as it truly is, not for what you wish it were. Acknowledge to yourself what this is – a sexual relationship. And acknowledge he’s a fantastic lover. Then ask yourself is this what you want? If you are in the market for a lover, then set boundaries that work for you. AND more importantly, HONOR THEM! If you know sleeping over takes it to a new level for you, don’t sleep over. If introducing him to your friends takes it to a new level don’t introduce him to your friends. If you prefer to see each other for sex and nothing else, then make arrangements to have sex and do not engage in any other activity. Deal with him where he is. Not how you wish he would be.