Women tend to only notice their flaws and imperfections and overlook their bodies' positive attributes. When you have continuous negative self-talk, you begin to believe these thoughts are true and they become embedded in your brain. This negative self-talk slowly begins to chip away at your self-esteem. If every day you think, "I feel fat, I look fat, I feel bad that I look and feel this way," then how can you be happy with your body and your self? Whether you are single, in a relationship or married, how you feel about yourself can have an effect on finding love or sustaining the relationship you have.
We've all heard "You have to love yourself before someone else loves you." The reason why you hear this all the time is because it's true. Unhappy people tend to push people away, while happy people attract people to them. Men find something very attractive in happy, confident women. And lucky for us they don't notice the so-called flaws that we think are there. Men love women's bodies. As women, we are the most critical of ourselves. 12 Ways To Feel Sexy Right Now
So how do you begin to change the way you feel about your body? You have to flip that switch in your head and change the way you speak to yourself. Take a good look at yourself and go ahead and try "I love my body," "I love this body that gave birth to my children," or "I love my soft curves." Say what you love and then repeat it every day. Give yourself the respect and love you deserve. If you love you, you will be open to having others love you, too.
- Health/Wellness Coach and YourTango Expert Lisa Goldberg
3. Think like a baby.
Babies have no shame about exploring each part of the body with awe and fascination. Over time, life teaches us that we are not good enough, not pretty enough or not worthy of being loved exactly as we are. We should all aim to return to that innocent, uncomplicated state of being, to remember, "I am perfect, whole and complete." Allow yourself to be fascinated again! Being out of alignment with this core truth creates suffering and prevents us from creating deep, meaningful relationships.
If you are feeling insecure about your body, you may be preventing yourself from being open to real love and intimacy. Do you avoid the risk of being hurt or feeling rejected? We often reject ourselves first by believing the judgmental voice in our own heads and can't believe it is possible for another to truly embrace our flaws.
Be grateful for your body, your life, the people in it and your accomplishments—and start blocking out all the negative chatter that ruined your innocent state of being in the first place! There is nothing more attractive than a woman who loves and honors herself and is grateful for the fabulous life she has created.
Loving yourself first opens the door to a healthy partnership. If you can love and accept yourself "as is," you will magnetically attract a partner who is also healthy and whole. When you appreciate and honor your magical and miraculous body first and foremost, the heart is strong, the mind is sharp and the soul is free to find its mate. Imagine what the two of you can create together!
- Health/Wellness Coach and YourTango Expert Richele Henry