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6 Ways Mindfulness Can Help You Survive After You've Been Cheated On

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surviving infidelity
Heartbreak, Self

It’s hard not to get swept up in the emotional tides when you experience infidelity.

It never feels good when you find out that your partner has been unfaithful. So many different thoughts are triggered. You go back replaying each one and wondering where you went wrong.

There is a reason hindsight is 20/20. It is so you can see where things got messed up.

But when you go back and replay those moments, you are left feeling like a shell of a person. Doubt and despair kick in and you begin to wonder if you will ever be happy again.

The truth is though, all things pass. No matter how deep the blade cut when it comes to infidelity, it will scar over and you will move on.

The question is though...how are you going to move on?

Push on Through to the Other Side

People have different coping mechanisms. Some will go out and party. Some will stay inside and watch old movies while throwing popcorn at the screen at every kiss.

Then there are those who occupy their time and be productive. They will push on through and not think about it.

These people that seem to ignore the situation understand. They realize that they can’t change what has happened. So they turn to themselves and to their priorities. They look at what has happened and say, "Okay, so my partner cheated. When one door closes another opens, so which one will open up for me now?"

An Open Window

When it comes to the roller coast of emotions, you have to be mindful of what is really happening. You can’t let the tides pull you. Sure, the storm is rough at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you have to sink in the sea of despair.

There are always options and ways for you to pull yourself out of the craziness of infidelity and move on.

Here are 6 ways mindfulness will help guide you through this crazy time. Even if the door has closed on you, there is always a window to climb through when you're surviving infidelity:

1. You can take a breath of fresh air.

When you feel like you are sinking in the memories of your partner, you have the option to step away. Many people find it difficult to do so. But what you have to remember is those moments don’t define who you are.

They were moments. Fragments of time never intended to make up the whole relationship.

When you feel yourself thinking of these things and becoming distracted by them, get some fresh air. Walk outside and breathe in deep. Enjoy the sun on your skin and replace those moments with ones of the now.

2. You will know your worth. 

Infidelity will leave you questioning yourself. But you certainly shouldn’t.

It wasn’t you who turned their back on the relationship. You held strong and kept the faith. Just be sure to never settle for anything less than spectacular. You deserve happiness and will find it with someone worthy of it.

3. You can let go.

One of the biggest things you can do for yourself is let everything go. I'm not saying to stop taking care of yourself, but to pamper yourself.

Take that trip you always wanted to go on. Go to that restaurant on the corner and try something new from the menu.

Find new ways and new things to do that are yours to cherish. Soon you will find that the memories you made with your partner are nothing compared to what you are doing now.

4. You know when to quit.

When you find yourself dwelling on the past...stop. Realize what is happening and what you are doing. No one is making you think a certain way. Your brain has been triggered to follow a certain pattern but you can redirect your thoughts and find happiness.

So, when you are feeling a bit lost, remember to be like Peter Pan and fly. Throw your hands up and give up the ghost.

5. You'll never give up and never surrender.

Dealing with the craziness of infidelity isn’t something that you will get over in one night. It may take days or even weeks, depending on how deep the blade twisted. But you must never give up and never give in.

Even if your partner calls late at night, begging to come back, if the timing isn’t right for you, say so. Don’t give in to them. They are the ones who hurt you and you need time to process that.

6. You can move on.

Remember that one day you will wake up and the sky will be blue and the pain will be gone. Nothing in this world lasts forever. Even though at the moment, it may feel like everything has flipped and the world is darker.

You have to remember that the sun will shine again. The world will keep on spinning and you are still here. So when you are in the darkest night in the deepest pit, look up and realize that it won’t be like this forever.

It will pass and you will be stronger for it.

C. Mellie Smith is a former betrayed spouse who was able to pick up the pieces and move on with her life after several affairs rocked her marriage. She knows how much infidelity hurts, so click here to get the help and resources you need to stop the craziness and get over the pain and heartbreak of the betrayal.

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